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5.
They control everything.

If you don't have a girlfriend, don't have a real job, spend at least 90% of your waking life in front of a monitor at least one hundred times your dick length, and run a blog.
Man 1: "My cat died."
Man 2: "IT'S THE ILLUMINATI AT WORK!!!!!!"

Man 1: "The first black President in history has just entered the White House."
Man 2: ""HE'S NOT BLACK! THAT'S WHAT THE ILLUMINATI _WANT_ YOU TO BELIEVE!!!!!!!"
by saycheeze August 19, 2009
 
1.
the Illuminati is a secret orginazation of the most powerful and influential elite in the world.They go back for centuries and maintain the same bloodlines.They set up the council on forign relations,the bilderberg group and the tri-laterial commission.those 3 groups all meet to plan the fate of the world.They consists of international bankers,top government officials,leaders in the energy cartel and media monopoly owners and have control over the U.N. and unesco.their subdivisions reach into everyones daily life without most sheeple even being aware of it. They also have ties to the freemasons,skull and bones, and the knights templar.their ultimate goal is for a one world government which they will control,also a one world currency,and they want control and ownership of all land,property,resources and people.Also they manipulate political parties,and the legal and illigal drug trade and federal agencies related to all matters listed above.
rockefeller foundation,ford foundation, carlysle group,J.P.Morgan,oppenhiemer,kuhn leub,federal reserve system and many others involved. check out bloodlines of the illuminati and new world order
by New Rising Sun May 31, 2005
 
2.
The Bastards who killed Michael Jackson to prevent him from Revealing the truth about the New World Order on July 8th,2009 during his concerts.
The Illuminati has also killed Tupac, Bob Marley, and John Lennon.
by TheTruth102 July 30, 2009
 
3.
Elite masters of deception who want to control your mind, soul, and your body, and rule the entire world.
"Illuminati want my mind, soul, and my body. Secret society, tryin to keep they eye on me." - LL Cool J
by Paul Wall Da People's Champ November 03, 2009
 
4.
Something ignorant people deny exists.
conspiracyarchive.com is a great website where you can find out more about the illuminati.
by mista conspiracy April 25, 2005
 
6.
The rulers of this realm and many others like it. They are completely unseen, highly influential and possibly dangerous. Their ultimate prime directive: To reduce the surface population as much as possible so that control of the entire world can be easily administered and consolidated into one government. All this will be done through fear, over consumption, death from unnatural causes, man made (Hurricane Katrina) natural disasters, famine, Economic Disorder,Civil and Domestic Disorder, International Disorder,and ceaseless war.
High Gas Prices - $4.65

War On Terrorism- 6,000,000,000.00

Hurricane Katrina- 100,000,000,000.00

Milk- $5.65

Getting Drafted For World War 3 because of Illuminati Prime Directive- Priceless
by Slade Technics November 29, 2006
 
7.
The Illuminati are the people who killed Kennedy, they are the people who print our dollars, they are the people who control our government and many others. The only governments they did not control in 2001 were: Iraq, Iran, and North Korea. If your memory serves you correct that is what Bush called the "Axis of Evil". So far they have taken out one and they want to move on Iran so they can get the oil. They want to create a one world government.
The Illuminati controls everything.
by Killuminati_Bitches June 19, 2010