15
Illinois consists of two parts: Chicago, and the black abyss beneath it.
Chicago is known all around the world for producing many things, being windy, and the mafia.
But I’m not going to tell you about Chicago, you all seem pretty well-informed of it already. I’m going to tell you about …. Central Illinois. (“What? What did she say? There’s a CENTRAL Illinois?”)
The only reason I could see anyone ever coming here is there is moderately good school systems. Never mind the rednecks, terrible weather, and nothing to do—the schools are good!
Not everyone is a redneck, that’s an exaggeration. But there are a lot of people who have very distinct red-neck qualities. And don’t let me get started on the weather. The summers are dreadfully hot and the winters are freezing. I’ve grown up here all my life, and I’m still not used to it.
But there are … some good things. We’ve discovered you can make more money if you put “Lincoln” in front of anything. Hey, we’re the “Land of Lincoln,” why not?! We have a lot of nice parks, as an example one close to me: Lincoln Memorial Gardens. Lookie there, two of the things mention rolled into one!
The cornfields I grew up next to are constantly being cut up and houses are always being built, for we have such a good school system here everyone is just flocking in. For now, it’s a relatively nice place to raise you little ones. But in another ten, twenty years it’ll be vastly overcrowded. We’ll be like a new Chicago! Oh joy!
Look at how I am, a prime example of how your children will grow up living in Central Illinois. Unless you’re rich. That’s the next neighbourhood over.
by TheSpaz September 10, 2005
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16
A state consisting of Chicago and Southern Illinois. The true Southern Illinoisans (located south of I-64) are constantly disputing whether the S in southern should be capitalized or not.
by ~Tonya May 21, 2005
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17
1. A State in the Midwest.
2. An amazing piece of music by the artist Sufjan Stevens. Recently Amazon.com named it the best album of 2005.
"Dude, Sufjan's new album 'Illinois' is pretty orgasmic; you need to check it out."
by Bob S November 16, 2005
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18
A horrible state in the northern Central Plains..
Extremely corrupt politics.
A shooting, stabbing, or mugging everyday (usually in Chicago area.)
High Taxes.
Can get all four seasons in one week of time.
Horrible roadways.
Always feuding with Wisconsin.
Anyone who doesn't live there only knows about Chicago.
Anyone who does live there, pretends they don't.
"If they as you where your from don't say Illinois...say Chicago. Or better yet don't say anything at all."

If you don't like the weather in Illinois, wait a few minutes, it'll change.
by Meh217 March 31, 2011
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19
The home of "flatlanders" who think "cheesehead" is an insult.
CHEESEHEAD PRIDE!!!!!!!!
Oh, man, people from Illinois are so dumb.
by Oh Just Someone January 15, 2016
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20
A giant ass cornfield that surrounds Chicago.
Chicago is the only decent part of Illinois.
by TrappedInTheMidwest October 01, 2009
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21
A state where the multitudes in Chicago (and its collar) blame their woes on "Springfield" as if it weren't PRIMARILY elected officials and political players from Chicago (and its collar) making the decisions in Springfield.
Chicago Mayor Richard Daley wants to put additional pressure on Springfield to allow a casino in the city.
by The Truth December 28, 2004
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