An awkward, often painful handjob given by an inexperienced female where the recipient's penis is squeezed in a pulsing manner rather than stroked up and down, resulting in the discomfort of the recipient.
"I thought she knew what she was doing up until she completely crushed my penis with her Hulk Hands."
by hulkhands May 19, 2010
When one aggressively inserts his hands into the vaginas of two plus-sized females simultaneuosly, in a Toys 'R Us parking lot.
"Instead of buying Christmas presents for his kids this year, Chad decided to spend his money on something for himself, so he got 2 prostitutes and gave them Hulk-Hands for Christmas."
by Martian12 August 09, 2012