Despite possessing testicles (allegedly), the Housebitch takes on the traditional role of the submissive housewife. Any and all decisions must first be approved by the wife and her say is dutifully accepted. The only alcohol allowed in the house is white wine. Cursing is forbidden. Male friendships are strictly frowned upon. The Housebitch goes to great lengths to disguise his true identity including coming up with off-the-wall excuses in order to explain to his male friends why he will not be attending events to which he previously guaranteed his presence. It gives the Housebitch's wife great joy to cancel plans the Housebitch made with his buddies.
As the Housebitch, Ian knows better than to even bring up the topic of a boys’ weekend trip. Instead, he has a catalog of excuses from which to pull from as soon as friends suggest any kind of getaway. This makes Ally happy, which in turn, makes Ian happy. With another weekend apart averted, Ian and Ally toast their wine glasses before cuddling up on the couch to watch this weeks episode of The Bachelor follow up with American Idol.