Yet another variation on the classic Houdini, prerequisites are that you MUST be wearing a loincloth.
*Do your lady from behind
*Upon reaching the vinegar strokes, spit on her back
*When she turns around, unleash your load in her face
*As she stares at you in disbelief, strike a mighty blow and bellow 'THIS IS SPARTA!'
*Finish off by striking a homosexual limp-wristed pose, a la xerxes
"Hey Steve, I Houdini 300'd your mum last night!"
"STEVE!, are you listening?????!"
"Sorry, I was thinking of xerxes in a loincloth!"