Symptoms may include some of the following: discomfort when eating meat, loss of fashion sense, growth of ironic facial hair, poetry, feeling of false superiority, loss of taste in music, non-prescription lenses, need to tell everyone how awesome you are, interest in self-help books, knitting, and many more. If in doubt, contact the nearest health center.
SAM: Sorry dude, I had sex with this hipster chick yesterday... can't eat meat anymore for some reason.
CHRIS: You have hipsterpes! Don't touch me!
SAM: Besides... I have much better values than you, I buy all my clothes used, I practice yoga and I listen to The Shins!
*Chris calls the local authorities*