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11.
The makers of overpriced printers and crash happy computer systems.
Duuude, you're getting an HP, Duuuuude, you got rocked!
by Gimli July 15, 2003
 
1.
Invent - a company renowned for its technological advances especially in the field of computing.
HP Invent
HP pwnes Dell
by Alex Maftei December 17, 2004
 
2.
Hp stands for HOLY papa this laptop's awesome.
Greatest purchase made &
Holy papa this guineas jealous
Anyone who says HP sucks cant AFFORD ONE and are sad they dont have a huge awesome laptop like I do.
Thing works great and you cant judge since you never owned one and cant afford it anyway, stupid idiot
Hewlett Packard
by A to the Izzo October 07, 2006
 
3.
Rated worst computer company for two years by PC World.
PC World said "Apple soars. Acer and eMachines soar. HP(Hewlett Packard) snoars."
by PCWreader June 22, 2009
 
4.
Hewlett Packard, abbreviated HP, is a corporation dedicated to manufacturing top-of-the-line malfunctioning, Cambodian sweatshop assembled, eAIDS infested plastic and metal scraps or "personal computers" run on Mongolian prostitutes' tit milk. HP laptops are as reliable, trustworthy, and totally clean of any "surprises" as much as a Hoe's Pussy. HP laptops are like used Afghani goat condoms repacked and assured of their technological innovativeness, technologically a hybrid between an ACER, a shopping cart, and liquidated, metal casted soiled drapes.
by NukifyouBuk December 04, 2010
 
5.
A once great technology company that probably makes the majority of its money in the enterprise sector while designing and manufacturing inferior-quality consumer-level products with horrifically poor customer support.

A recent example is the wave of HP- and Compaq-branded laptops with wifi and video failures out-of-warranty; HP's only response is to either fix the machine for two-thirds what the customer paid or suggest a replacement...paid for by the customer, of course.
My Hewlett Packard laptop died not two years after I bought it. I'm buying an ASUS next time.
by TheNextBillGates January 14, 2010
 
6.
A very good computer company. Unlike what most people say, HP constantly provides what you paided for. Now HP cry babies will come along and yell about how their top of the line system sucks because it ain't so top of the line anymore. Blame the company because you can't spend $50 a month to keep it up-to-date.

Further more, Computer Illiterate people will come along and claim that the machine is making strange noises, or that it is too slow. Guess what... it is called a damn virus you idiots. Spyware Aware and probally half of your porn collection is wormed. Heck, torrent downloads have a 5:1 chance of containing trojans and you probally STILL don't have Alcohol 120%.

The Majority of hardware issues are caused because of your stupidity throwing the laptop accross the room will not make it work better. Also to be noted is that only geeks should be allowed to touch computer hardware... macho men don't have a big enough brain to do more then rip out the wires and smash their graphics card like a monkey.

All in all, HP is both cheaper then dell in all 'real' fields. Sure dell can sell you a do-nothing computer, but HP will sell you a system that works, and is actually worth buying.

Why post this? Because half of you are too ignorant to know how to turn your computer on... let alone take it to the store to get fixed.
Idiot: "Hewlett Packard sucks"
Smart: "Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself."
Idiot: "How?"
Smart: "Here, I'll do it for you"

Idiot: "My hp computer sucks... lets go buy an alienware computer... it looks cooler"

Idiot: "Hey, Hewlett Packard Support... YOU SUCK, MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
Support: "Did you run a virus scan?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "How about put in that 'recovery cd' that came with your computer"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Or do you even have your computer insured?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Have a nice day"

Idiot: "Dude, HP sucks, it can't run Black"
Smart: "And how old is your computer"
Idiot: "Eight years... but it runs Doom 1 SOO GOOD"
by STFU Whiners May 07, 2006
 
7.
Syn: Sucks
Hey, man. I _know_ Hewlett Packard SUCKS! I work there.
by HP-slave August 29, 2008