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4.
Pretty much everyone who bashed metal here has probably only listened to false bands like Slipknot. Most of the definitions about how metal sucks were extremley biased. Because I'm bored, I'm going to dissect this bullshit definition.

"Can you sing about something else besides Satan?"
Groups like Nuclear Assault and Sacred Reich sang about the government and war. In fact, I don't even think those bands sing any songs that go like "HAIL SATAN!". There's other bands who sing about that too. I've also heard many other metal songs about ancient Egypt, medievel times, etc etc (most notabley with Iron Maiden)

"Can you sing at all?"
Rob Halford can hit a 5th octave. Nuff said. Oh and I also suggest Iron Maiden, Edguy, Dream Theater, Hammerfall, Blind Guardian, Helloween...

"Can you not be such goth fucktards?"
Goth fucktards? Leather, spikes, and chains are hardly gothic. Gothic metal is it's own genre, and I'm not referring to "z0mg im so gawthik" bands like Slipknot and Korn, I'm talking about bands like Type-O-Negative, Paradise Lost, etc.

"Can you focus more on music and maybe write some non-retarded lyrics and maybe get someone who can actually sing to sing them?"
Again, using Iron Maiden as an example, alot of their songs are about history, and they aren't the only ones who do so...and refer to the list of bands above who can actually sing.

"Can you make it a little more normal and a little less like goth vampire shit?"
Refer to what I said about gothic metal

"Can you make it a little more closer to rock & roll?"
I hear alot of influences from early rock and roll in groups like Raven, Motorhead, Anvil, Tygers Of Pan Tang, Exciter.

"Can you go five seconds without mentioning Satan?"
Refer to my first answer.

"^And why the fuck do you do that anyways in the first place?"
Bands who DO sing about Satan do it for the same effect as a horror movie. Sure, some if it is cheesy as hell (like Venom for example), but that doesn't mean theres anything wrong with enjoying it.

"Do you even know the difference between something that sounds like shit and noise and mud vs. something that actually sounds good?"
That's a little subjective now...
Before you bash heavy metal, look more into it...
by Paul The Metal Maniac October 10, 2006
 
50.
A kind of music that kind cause you to release your inner urine and feces upon your disc player!
It makes just walk right over to your stereo,open up the door on you CD player and just pee and poo therein and then smash the lid back closed.
by Satch Johnson February 25, 2005
 
51.
A seriously awesome style of music which is much more difficult (at least for guitar) than normal rock. But I do not see anyone mentioning the band that I think owns heavy metal, Tool. I am a professional violist and I play guitar, and musically, heavy metal is very similar to classical, it takes skill to play and write.
Tool's music is 100 times what any Blink 182 or Simple Plan guitarist can play. And musically speaking, it is, well actual music.
by Skelington December 22, 2003
 
52.
Heavy Metal is by far a better form of music than anything going today. Although some of today's "nu metal" bands have a bit of talent, none compare to metal gods of years past such as Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Slayer, Pantera, Metallica (as in pre 1990's Selloutica), and even Alice in Chains on Facelift. This was angry music with a purpose, not just angry for the sake of selling records.
If you want an example of good heavy metal music, listen to some Iron Maiden or Motorhead, fuck this Korn and Slipknot crybaby shit.
by Troy August 27, 2003
 
53.
One of the most talented genres out there today. The guitars are usually blindingly fast and the drummer uses the double bass or other awesome sounding beats all the time. The vocalist usually sings in a low voice, a lot of times consisting og growling and shrieks. The bass player..... he's just there. Good bands include Chimaira, Lamb of God, In Flames, 100 Demons, Fear Factory, God Forbid, etc.
My friend lost 73% of his hearing and 3 fingers at a heavy metal concert
by Hanky September 05, 2004
 
54.
1. Probably the best genre of music. Created by bands like Led Zepplin and Deep Purple, then revloutionized by 80's bands like Iron Maiden and METALLICA, and is still kept alive today by bands like Tool and Cradle of Filth. Basically, its pure anger turned into music.

2. A animated, adult-oriented film (u.s.) based on a french, Adult oriented Comic. It has gained a large cult following and, even spawned a crappy sequal, Heavy Metal 2000
1. Metallica is god.

2. Heavy metal is one of the only rated R american animated films ever.
by Pyro Maniac May 09, 2004
 
55.
Has pretty much dominated the rock scene for the past 25 or so years.
Music has pretty much sucked for about the past 25 years.
by 'nuff said, August 10, 2005
 
56.
True music that describes the inner self in everyone. In other words, KICK ASS music.
Metallica, Disturbed
by S2 November 17, 2003