Pretty much everyone who bashed metal here has probably only listened to false bands like Slipknot. Most of the definitions about how metal sucks were extremley biased. Because I'm bored, I'm going to dissect this bullshit definition.

"Can you sing about something else besides Satan?"
Groups like Nuclear Assault and Sacred Reich sang about the government and war. In fact, I don't even think those bands sing any songs that go like "HAIL SATAN!". There's other bands who sing about that too. I've also heard many other metal songs about ancient Egypt, medievel times, etc etc (most notabley with Iron Maiden)

"Can you sing at all?"
Rob Halford can hit a 5th octave. Nuff said. Oh and I also suggest Iron Maiden, Edguy, Dream Theater, Hammerfall, Blind Guardian, Helloween...

"Can you not be such goth fucktards?"
Goth fucktards? Leather, spikes, and chains are hardly gothic. Gothic metal is it's own genre, and I'm not referring to "z0mg im so gawthik" bands like Slipknot and Korn, I'm talking about bands like Type-O-Negative, Paradise Lost, etc.

"Can you focus more on music and maybe write some non-retarded lyrics and maybe get someone who can actually sing to sing them?"
Again, using Iron Maiden as an example, alot of their songs are about history, and they aren't the only ones who do so...and refer to the list of bands above who can actually sing.

"Can you make it a little more normal and a little less like goth vampire shit?"
Refer to what I said about gothic metal

"Can you make it a little more closer to rock & roll?"
I hear alot of influences from early rock and roll in groups like Raven, Motorhead, Anvil, Tygers Of Pan Tang, Exciter.

"Can you go five seconds without mentioning Satan?"
Refer to my first answer.

"^And why the fuck do you do that anyways in the first place?"
Bands who DO sing about Satan do it for the same effect as a horror movie. Sure, some if it is cheesy as hell (like Venom for example), but that doesn't mean theres anything wrong with enjoying it.

"Do you even know the difference between something that sounds like shit and noise and mud vs. something that actually sounds good?"
That's a little subjective now...
Before you bash heavy metal, look more into it...
by Paul The Metal Maniac October 10, 2006
Undefinable mix of mostly electrical and synthetical instrumentation blurred into unknown fields of music, blended from all previous types of music from our planet.
Slide into some early Pink Floyd followed by some Iron Butterfly and top it off with some Led Zeppelin or The Who or early Deep Purple, Uriah Heep, Sabbath and countless other bands leading the way to Heavy Metal
by Mississippi Queen December 17, 2003
The future of music is all shit.Kids today are all either goth/metal or emo.That's what they are all into.And they are going to be making the music of the future? Somebody needs to beat the emo out of these goth kids.
Heavy metal is so emo.
by goth kids are fags September 11, 2005
A crap style of music where more often than not the only thing worthwhile about it is the guitar playing.

A bunch of ass clowns in assless leather pants singing about their gayness and proffessing their love for the hershey highway.Typically a bunch of stupid ass lyrics and attrocious vocals and a fetish for goats.
Since guitar playing is usually the only thing worth a fuck in most metal then I choose to listen to intrumental rock guitar artists instead such as Joe Satriani and Steve Vai or Steve Morse or Eric Johnson or Gary Hoey or Firkins or Greg Howe or Vinnie Moore.That way I get all the great guitar without having to suffer through the most hideou vocals ever conceived of and the stupidest lyrics ever written sang by some cow-dependent satanic leather-clad tattooed and pierced little L.A. homos with 666 tattooed between their eyes as they masturbate onstage to the image of their goat god (teh devil).All of this crap in metal is pointless bullshit designed to sell image not make good music.All this serves to do is to make a bunch of little fags on the internet use 666 in their screennames and have pentagrams for avatars.
by Rock & Roll-over metal January 22, 2005
The WORST thing to happen to ROCK & ROLL since DISCO!!!
DISCO,METAL,MTV,and RAP ruined music!!
by stupid fags February 19, 2005
The most terrible music ever!!!! it freaking sucks!!!! New Wave and pop all the way!!! Heavy Metal is shit!!! All heavy Metal sounds like is a big gross blur!!! PLUCK!!!!
Heavy Metal sucks asses!!!
by Shelby the pop and new wave girl January 24, 2008
Can you sing about something else besides Satan?
Can you sing at all?
Can you not be such goth fucktards?
Can you focus more on music and maybe write some non-retarded lyrics and maybe get someone who can actually sing to sing them?
Can you make it a little more normal and a little less like goth vampire shit?
Can you make it a little more closer to rock & roll?
Can you go five seconds without mentioning Satan?
^And why the fuck do you do that anyways in the first place?
Do you even know the difference between something that sounds like shit and noise and mud vs. something that actually sounds good?
After all of these years heavy metal turned out to only be good for giving us very few bands that could rock and spew something lyrically that wasn't about Satan every other word.I guess there were also alot of faggy hair metal bands and not all of them were Satanic so that's an amazing fact but they still sounded like shit.And since that era it's all been really goth and just trying to push more of the Satanic shit from the back burner to the front burner.Um,what about music?? What ever happened to that?
by choke on a huge cock December 31, 2005
It's anti-music.

It's for people who think that the "only" instruments that matter are guitar and maybe drums.Metal singers are the worst singers to ever get behind a mic.They are like turd-like golems,pieces of poop which magically sprang to life and crawled out of the toilet.

There's so much more to music you stupid,little ass-fucks!

Fuckin Zeppelin had piano and banjos and mandolins and acoustic guitars and keyboards and fuckin harmonicas and a pretty decent singer and they sang about pretty good things usually.

But no,not heaby mettle.Todays heaby mettle shit has guitars and drums and some possed motherfucker who's constipated and grunting demonically trying to force a Satanic turd rocketing out his hairy goat-hole!

^That ain't music,bitches!!!!

What kind of retarded motherfucker do you have to be to want to listen to that shit?

Zeppelin was Rock&Roll,electrified blues,folk,flamenco,country and all sorts of good music.They didn't make that by saying "duh we should ONLY have guitar and ONLY grunt and fart and sing about humping goats"....

Figure it out you fuggin Mtv-watching, shmegma-suckin,turd-munching,headbanger's ball watching fucktards!!!!!!!
ROCK and motherfuckin ROLL you ignorant anal-cunts!!!!!!
by a real music fan May 08, 2005
Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×