Keansburg kid 1: How do you know hes from hazlet?
Keansburg Kid: He has marks on his arm and is skating
Holmdel kid: Really i say we jump him!
ALL TOGETHER: HELL YEAH
I played football in Central Jersey and most likely got my ass kicked by a Hazlet kid.
Hazlet isn't as trashy as Keansburg, isn't as stuck up as Holmdel, and isn't as boring as Middletown.
I wish I could live in Hazlet, but my son is a wuss and would never survive. That's why I live in Middletown.
person 2: we can't. he's from hazlet. he'll fuck us up and THEN fuck our girlfriend.
The high school ("Raritan" located on Middle Road) and the town in general is heavily populated with guidos/guidettes and lesbians. The people in the school think they're bad or 'hard', when really they live in a New Jersey suburb. They also hate Keansburg because they say it's trashy, even though they are literally two minutes apart, some even in living in west Keansburg. They also hate Middletown for being stuckup, but they are just as bad.
Person 2: They were probably from Keansburg if their trashy.
Person 1: Nah bro she was pretty stuckup, she thought her shit didn't stink
Person 2: Oh so she's from Middletown!
Person 1: Nahh, she's from Hazlet!
Person 2: Fuckin skank!
Hazlet Kid 2:What Kid, yo?
Hazlet Kid 1:That kid to the right. He has long hair. Lets jump him.
Hazlet Kid 2: Yea lets jump that fag. hes mad doofy.
Long Hair Kid:(beats the shit out of the two kids, then calls his friends)i thought hazlet kids were tough
Kid on Phone: they look like they are.
Long Hair Kid: no, i just got jumped by 2 of them. they are a bunch of pussies
Kid on phone: ohh, good now lets go jump those doofy muthafuckas (making fun of the hazlet kids)
I feel ashamed to say i live in this town but i know that as soon as its legal i am moving the fuck out. And i suggest the same to anybody else living there who's over the age of 18.
ME: *hits over head with a heavy object* Go die!