If human shit had an identity its name would be Hazey. Hazey is the guy that tries to be cool but he isn't at all. In every conversation he talks louder than everyone and tells complete lies. He tries acting stronger, faster, smarter, and says he is the most attractive male on the planet but, actually, miscarriages are due to looking at Hazey's face. Hazey thinks it's cool to smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day because it makes him look " mature" but, ironically, his voice squeaks like hes being porked. If you find a Hazey bagging your groceries call him a skeever and tell him to take some proactive.
Danny: Hey you see that guy on the bike with the Wal-Mart uniform on?
Steph: Yeah he totally has a tiny penis
Jason: I bet he shit his pants running the mile
Danny: I had sex with his mom
Jason: Who hasn't?
Steph: Hazey cant run a 4.4