| 1. | The Cleveland Steamer | ||
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The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries. (SEE ALSO
HAWAIIAN MUSCLE FUCK AND PASADENA MUDSLIDE) It was a severance fuck anyway, so I left her a Cleveland Steamer.
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| 2. | Celine Dion | ||
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A quasi-sex act that combines the worst aspects of the Cleveland steamer, Darjeeling standpipe, Hawaiian muscle fuck, Trimdon Piledriver and Pasadena mudslide, with or without the use of goosefat, performed in groups of six to eight to the sound of contemporary rock. Shields is going to the fucking dogs. Only last week behind Majestic Bingo I happened on a group of youths engaged in some sort of half-arsed Celine Dion.
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| 3. | Redbank West of The Rockies Tour | ||
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This is an act to only be attempted by people who are very sexually adventrous, flexiable, with good insurance, and a tolerance for concusions. To be considered a complete Redbank West of the Rockies Tour one and one's partner/s must complete a/an Alaskan Pipeline, Washington Candy Apple, Oregon Log Jam, California Carrot, Arizona Chilidog, Hawaiian Muscle Fuck, Idaho Slider, Utah Jaw Dropper, and Nevada Deposit Box within 12 hours. Carolyn did not have enough money to see the sites west of the Rocky Moutains so she asked Ron and Josh to give her a Redbank West of the Rockies Tour. They were only happy to oblige her since they were some seriously messed up fuckers.
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| 4. | shrafted | ||
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Similar to the Cleveland steamer. This version is usually done as a hazing ritual. Whereas the hazee lays on his back under a short glass table or other transparent surface (ie. plastic tarp). The hazers then in turn move thier bowels onto the transparent surface just over the hazees face. Pledge Gary was shrafted into Lamda Lamda Lamda last week.
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| 5. | Shrafted | ||
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Similar to the Texas Hotplate. This version is usually done as a hazing ritual. Whereas the hazee lays on his back under a short glass table or other transparent surface (ie. plastic tarp). The hazers then in turn deficate onto the hazees face. Pledge Gary was shrafted into Lamda Lamda Lamda last week.
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| 6. | Belgian biscuit | ||
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British. To quote the Profanisaurus, 'a vile and non-specific sex act performed by the staff of a rub-a-tug shop'.
Whatever it is it's rarely heard outside of Viz and, depending on exactly what you take it to mean, rarely seen either, thank Christ. I offered him a Cleveland steamer and the filthy cunt's only asked if I do Belgian biscuit.
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| 7. | Darjeeling standpipe | ||
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A pleasurable sex act whereby a teapot is filled with hot, not boiling water, the scrotum suspended therein, and a consenting adult partner encouraged to blow through the spout while wanking one off. The effect is similar to a testicular jacuzzi. Don't put the leaf in yet, sweetness. I fancy a Darjeeling standpipe.
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