An uncomfortable medical procedure performed by using a small, hairless rodent. For men, a hammogram is completed by sending hampsters with little forehead lights deep into the rectum to search for prostate and/or colon cancer. For women, a hammogram is used to test for precancerous cells in the breast tissue. The hamsters used in this procedure generally come with one dollar bills, expensive cuban cigars and single malt whiskey.
Hawkins: I'm never going to a proctologist; that's just scary.
Jen: I've heard they aren't that bad. Nathan had a hammogram last week, and he only crapped fur for two days!