Caused by: Greasy food, excessive boozing, PMSing, stress, chinese food, high fiber diets, lots and lots of apples, nervousness, improper use of anal beads, enemas, laxatives, too many Fiber One bars, phenolphthalein, prunes and prune juice, food poisoning, long distance running, cholera, and any combination of said inducers
Symptoms: Stomach achy, crampy, gassy, guts rolling, uncomfortable, afraid to fart.
Leads to: frequent bathroom trips, piss-ass, burning butthole and an all around shitty day.
CAUTION: If you are expecting to gurt, DO NOT WEAR THONG UNDERWEAR. I will only further the pain of the barking butthole. Also, playing touch tag with your underwear is truly a dangerous game on gurt days.
BaRB: Sounds like you're definately gurting.