An elderly man's giant frank and beans bulging through the crotch of his pants. When you were in elementary school, and a volunteer referred to as "grandpa" would sit and read to you. As you sit on the floor and he is in the chair with his legs spread, all you see is grandpa's torpedo.
I couldn't concentrate on the story, cuz all I could see was grandpa's torpedo. I thought it was gonna shoot me in the eye like an angry pirate!