A rare sub-species of sloth that is carnivorous. This species depends on the ignorance of other mammals to feed and thrive. It uses its harmless appearance and slow movement to get close to creatures before pouncing quickly and tearing through flesh with its sharp claws and teeth. Because it can garner lots of calories in this way, it only needs to feed about once a week. For the rest of the week, it mimics the habits of the common sloth. It does not feed on the common sloth because it requires the veil of innocence that sloth-ness typically denotes. It uses the ignorance of other beings to sneak up and feed on unsuspecting animals. (including human children and small adults)
Don't trust that dude. He may seem straight but if you let him get close he'll go all gorilla sloth on you.
by sepha May 14, 2011