Used as a response to an unwelcomed chat-up line (or just an attempt to hit on you), gonatokamorkins are purposely bad "chat-up lines". Their purpose is to take the piss of the person trying to pick you up, making them leave in either embarrassment or confusion.
Gonatokamorkins can make no sense whatsoever, or they can also sound suggestive (or just plain dodgy), but then turn out to be meant quite literately. This often results in the person finding themselves in a situation that makes them feel rather stupid.
Some examples of gonatokamorkins:
- Do you want to Panini my bikini?
- Do you want to fudge my cookie?
- Do you want to sharpen my knife?
- Do you want to hit my interactive whiteboard?
- Can I play with your matches?
- How hard is your rock?
- Do you want to lick my penguin?
- Can I ride in your pope mobile?
- Where’s your secret passage?
- Do you want to melt my crayon?
Gonatokamorkins in use:
man at party: “Babe, you must be a criminal, it’s got to be illegal to look that good.”
girl at party: *winks* “Want to help me find my lion?” (that’s the gonatokamorkin)
man: *makes creepy cat-like noise and leads her upstairs to bedroom*
girl: *starts looking in wardrobe, under bed, etc*
man: “err… what are you doing?”
girl: “looking for my lion! Aren’t you going to help?”
man: *confused* “umm...” *leaves room*
girl: “eww, I just had some really creepy guy try to chat me up.”
girl’s friend: “Oh fun. How did you get rid of him?”
girl: “I used a gonatokamorkin.” *smiles* “You should have seen his face!”
friend: *laughs* “Oh, nice one.”
man’s friend: “so, did you get with that chick you were after earlier?”
man: “no, she was really weird, so I left.”
friend: “what did she do?”
man: “I used the old chat up line trick, and she seemed to go for it because she said one back. Something weird about ‘finding her lion’. Anyway, I figured she was up for it so I took her upstairs, but then she actually started… well, looking for her lion.”
friend: *laughs at his friend* “trust you to actually fall for that”
Gone - ah - tock - ah - more - kin.
A purposefully bad chat-up line/response to a chat-up line. Usually designed to make a person think that you are completely off your trolley (and probably make them go away).
Boy: Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
Girl: Do you want to slap my newspapers? *bats eyelashes* (this is the gonatokamorkin.)
Boy: *thinking this is a euphemism* Yeah, okay. *pervy face*
Girl: *smiles brightly and gets two newspapers out of her bag* Here you go!
Girl 1: Do you want to smell my loofah?
Girl 2: Gonatokamorkin much?
What's the charge on your ion?
An extremely bad chat-up line, usually used as a retaliation to some pervy guy who is hitting on you. Gonatokamorkins never make any sense, and can often sound quite dodgy. Basically, they are there to take the piss out of people who actually use chat-up lines and hope to get something out of it.
What's the charge on your ion?
dude of perviness: *walks up to innocent girl* "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?"
innocent girl: *turns and bats eyelashes* "Do you want to smell my loofah?"
dude: *walks away looking confused*
girls friend: "gonatokamorkin much?"