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256.
god
im quoting George carlin on this one!
god is "an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you."
Kid: grandma what does god look like?
Grandma: no one knows
Kid: grandma how do u know what he wants u to do?
Grandma: dont u dare question gods existance!!!

Kid: o.O
Grandma:if u doubt him hell send u to hell
Kid: why?
Grandma: because he loves you!
Kid: o.O
by i hate idiots 199 May 01, 2011
 
1.
God
A guy who talked to some Jewish guys, some Christian guys, and some Islam guys, and accidentaly caused more people to die than anyone else in human history.
And people wonder why he doesn't talk much to us anymore.
by Squeed March 07, 2005
 
2.
God
The reason I passed math.
Bless the lord! For I got a 65!
by Rattlesnake316 January 09, 2005
 
3.
god
The universal scapegoat for forces yet to be explained, originating back to when man thought the wind was Satan farting.
Uuhhhmmmm... God did it?
by Lanan May 14, 2005
 
4.
god
the most popular star in human history. loved, hated, or talked about by almost every person ever walked on earth.
theist: 'i love god, i think he's cool.'
atheist: 'god is a ridiculous idea, he doesn't even really exist.'
by eci December 29, 2005
 
5.
God
The main character in the fiction work "The Bible."
And God replied: I am Who Am.
And Moses quickly corrected him saying that it should be I am Who Is. But God never was any good at grammar.
by Joe from DP February 06, 2005
 
6.
God
Large angry fairy-pixie in the sky. Refuses to show any evidence of his existence but will sentence you to an eternity of pain and burning if you do not accept it.
Abe was a good man, but he used God's name in vain, so he burned forever and ever.
by Rap Scholar March 28, 2005
 
7.
god
God, the omniscient, primordial and eternal who created man in his own image and therefore posseses a digestive system, sense organs, limbs and other attributes that would be useless to an immortal being. If God came first, what would he eat or walk upon? Why would he have those five senses if nothing to sense yet existed? And if he has 'always' been here, how long did he sit around doing nothing until he decided to invent the Universe? And why? And if he hadn't yet invented the universe, what exactly was he sitting on? Where is he going to exist if there is nothing to exist in? And what is wrong with the idea that we all just expire and disintegrate and rot?
God help us.
by Jon December 26, 2003