The one who gives purpose
If we didnt have GOD then we'd all just be a bunch of molecules thrown together by chance. Which that means we'd mean nothing.
But since He is real, we are loved and someone took the time to make us and plan our life before we even lived it.
GOD: Seriously, if you dont believe in Jesus, you go to hell, and i mean yea maybe you dont believe in hell, but i mean you have been wrong plenty of times before right? and i mean imagine what it would really be like to actually go to hell, if it was real. you would hurt SO much physically, emotionally, spiritually, and you cant commmit suscide because you are already dead, and you have to stay there for eternity, like that means you can NEVER LEAVE. and you have to hang out with the devil all day. have fun lovassss. :]
by sarah down October 13, 2006
The third 'word' in the phrase guaranteed to be used by any woman who has won, or ever will win, any radio contest:
!!!OH MY GODDD!!!
And, it's almost always reiterated three times.
Radio announcer: "This is KRAC- You're our hundred caller! Congratulations!
Winning contestant: !!!OH MY GODDD!!!
Radio announcer: That's right, you won! What's your name?
Winning contestant: !!!OH MY GODDD!!! uhhh, Dakota??!?
Radio announcer: Dakota, how would you and a friend like to see Matchbox 20 Thursday nite?!
Winning contestant: !!!!!!OH MY GODDD!!!!! (delivered with extra screechy-ness)
Radio announcer: (thinking, "god, I hate my job")
by sgtsixpack June 22, 2003
The biggest scam in history designed to control and put millions of dollars in the pockets of so called "men of god".
Hey give me money i talk to god!
by Mamao April 04, 2004
A so called "divine" being who is evidently responsible for some of the worst human tragedies, disasters and murders conceivable. He created an impossible set of guidelines that will damn 90% of the human population to an eternity to hell, yet he is a compassionate God.
Moses and the Ten Commandments:

"WTF... how am I supposed to follow these rules and avoid eternal damnation?!?

GOD: "HAHAHAHAHAHA... YOU'RE NOT!"
by who is john galt? July 22, 2009
A mean old tyrant who threatens to punish anyone who disobeys him.
God: Do what I say or you will burn in a fire pit after you die.

Religious person: Yes master. You're not a bastard at all.
by Bloodbath 87 March 06, 2009
The only word with no universally accepted definition.
How many definitions of God can there be? Well, I guess I better go to god-defined.com to find out.
by god defined August 25, 2009
When you pray REAL hard, this is the person that ignores you.
Timmy: Please, God, Don't let me die of Cancer, I love my daddy and I love living.

2 Days Later

RIP Timmy
by BobDee January 27, 2008
A universally known entity of divine authority- belief in God ranges from religious fanaticism to abrupt disbelief.
At the end of the day- I don't think we can never be certain, even if it feels so- but none the less, we should respect and identify with any possible theories, even those that discount his/her existence, instead of wasting time blowing up innocent people... (you heard me terrorists)
God - A humurous example of his existence:

"Whoever was walking down a small street in his town, and met a herb dealer for his local groceries. After purchasing the items whoever walked through the desert to his dwelling, eating one of the herbs he had puchased. A few hours later, whoever began to feel funny- and started seeing funny shapes and colours swirling in front of him, flying gracefully across the desert. Walking through this barren wasteland was initially a task whoever resented, but now whoever felt completely at peace with the desert, and had an unrequited respect for it forevermore- as he swam through heavenly white sand and glimmering golden air the effects simmered away into the breeze, and whoever stood at the edge of the desert lost for words: "guh, uck, heh, god... what the... hell was that..." And so, he wrote the account down on some parchment later that evening. Soon enough, he spread word of his experience, and because he didn't recognise or comprehend the psychoactive nature of the herb whoever purchased, whoever determined that his experience must have been the work of some higher authority- when people observed his story in the local news, they came up with a name for the authority responsible for his experience: the only word that seemed to stand out in the minds of those who read it- God. And hey presto, it became an institution. Soon enough people from all over started experimenting with the herbs he purchased and had mystical experiences of their own: One had an experience fishing one day, and the fish increased in size, until it reached a growth remeniscent of a whale :P and swallowed the person up. Another who studied animals, had an experience in the rain and became convinced it was precipitating for what seemed to be forty days and forty nights- and in desperation, wished for a way to save himself: and at will the trees manifested into a huge ark, with all of the animals studied so far, not to mention creatures yet to be seen, waiting there for him. A third had a bad experience, and saw the sky in blood red torrents, with fire shooting up from the earth... and the list goes on. And eventually, every experience, and other stories inspired by them, where collected into one long storybook- known today, as the bible :P"

'Note: This is only a theory, made for fun- do not attempt to take it seriously, but dont discount it either :P'
by Firelovesugar January 14, 2009

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