The only male in history to survive an abortion

Not once

Not twice

but THREE times...but even greatness such as this comes with a price

And in this case it's called mental retardation

BUT THIS MAN PERSEVERED!!!

And accompanied his mental illness with drug abuse and alcoholism

AND THIS MAN STILL STANDS TALL, HE STILL STANDS STRONG!!!

He will own all your bases....he will own the children you thought would be safe inside those bases and unlike the mighty Titan Cronos (who inspired Obama to be a Marxist. I know this because Glenn knows this) He will not imprison them in his stomach...

BUT HE WILL DISINTEGRATE THEM FOR THEIR INEPTNESS AND LACK OF ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!
Glenn Beck knows when you're sleeping...he knows when you're awake and he knows if you've been conservative or Marxist so conserve for conserving sake.

And if you DARE DECEIVE HIM, he will hunt down your family, your friends, your co-workers, your landlord, even the people who protect you and you will PRAY & BEG for mercy....but he never forgives and never forgets and he will never eat.....he will never sleep.....and he will never...stop....
by I'MFAT!!! October 14, 2009
According to the ancient myths and legends, Glenn Beck was "created" from a giant turd farted out of the disease infected ass of Rush Limbaugh, which was then fertilized and nurtured for six days and six nights by Ann Coulter, who subsequently gave birth to the end result.

Stats: Glenn Beck is roughly humanoid in appearance, comprising 80% feces, 10% grain alcohol, 5% hot air, 4% unidentifiable matter and 1% human skin.

It feeds on liquor, various drugs, hatred and media attention.
It's primary habitat is currently the Fox News studios in New York City.
Glenn Beck's political beliefs are an extremely demented and warped version of Right-Wing Conservativism, coupled with an even more demented and warped version of Christianity.
Glenn Beck is known for spouting an endless stream of lies, distortions, half-truths, propaganda, false claims, made-up facts, treasonous banter, harmful advice, and good-old-American-bullshit.

Glenn Beck seems to host what outwardly appears to be a cable news program, but is in reality a paid political shill factory with zero journalistic qualities. Glenn Beck is also accompanied by several other of these "Fox Newscasters," all of of whom have never attended any type of journalism academy or have received degrees in said subject.

What to do if you encounter Glenn beck:
Your best hope is to toss him a bottle of cheap scotch, run in the opposite direction and hope for the best!
Not satisfied with having a cable "news" show, Glenn Beck must also spout his banter on a syndicated radio program as well.
by Ozymandius June 17, 2010
Neolithic caveman who vouchsafes his stupidity to the poor souls who accidentally flipped through Fox News on their way to the Food Network.
Glenn Beck: I don't think Jesus ever used the word "vouchsafe."
by Rationalismo March 19, 2011
A demagogic, hate-mongering Fox news host who attempts to indoctrinate viewers with his pseudo-populistic, crypto-fascist bullshit. He may claim to be the "savior of the American middle class" and the leading force against "liberal, elitist America" yet is, in fact, a corporate-adulating, affluent elitist who, with other right-wing news hosts, attempts to portray practical, necessary measures such as public option health care and the extension of gay rights as Marxist pervasion of our society. In addition, anyone who refuses to listen or capitulate to Glenn Beck's right-wing propaganda is, according to him and his brainwashed teabagging followers, either one of the following epithets: a Marxist, a socialist, a Nazi, and/or fascist (especially when fascism and Nazism are clearly RIGHT-WING ideologies) In addition, Beck is schizophrenic and perenially intoxicated, as shown in such instances as him claiming to have spoken to God and asking the aforementioned deity for support in his so-called crusade against secular "liberal America." Overall, Glenn Beck is idiotic and should be avoided at all times.
Obstinate, indoctrinated teabagger: OBAMA'S A MARXIST!!! NOT ONLY HAS HE NATIONALIZED HEALTH CARE, BUT HE'S ALSO TRYING TO REPEL THAT DONT' ASK, DON'T TELL LAW! THAT'S DEFINITELY SOCIALISM RIGHT THERE!

Liberal: Where did you get that bullshit from?
Teabagger: Mein Reich Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels...I mean, my favorite tv news host Glenn Beck told me.

Liberal: You're fucking retarded if you listen to Glenn Beck.
by Fox News is bullshit December 14, 2010
A over paid, non-educated, raging alcoholic, pill popping Latter-day Saint. He speaks, cries and broadcasts lies, mis-facts and is trying to impress the misguided right wing in the US. Guess if he believes in the Mormon Church, he believes the lies that pour from his mouth.
A: Uh-oh, Mormon missionaries, run!
B: Why? They are cute!!
A: They will Glenn Beck your ass.
B: RUN!
by Taco2lip January 10, 2010
A person at the highest level of the autistic spectrum who has an insatiable desire for attention. He usually spouts unintelligible nonsense and conspiracy theories before completely breaking down.
"What's wrong with your son?" "He is Glenn Beck." "Oh I'm sorry."
by Emaybe July 11, 2010
The worst thing to happen to the United States. It spreads lies like a hooker spreads AIDS. The bad part is that people actually believe the bullshit spewing out of it.
Sheep 1: Hey did you see Glenn Beck last night? Didn't you believe it all?

Sheep 2: Yeah totally! It's like, so true that Hummers are not gas guzzlers, right?

Sheep 1: Yeah, they get better mileage than a Nissan!

Person with actual brains: Glenn Beck is bullshit, you can't believe every moron with money.
by Person with actual brains January 03, 2011

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