According to the ancient myths and legends, Glenn Beck was "created" from a giant turd farted out of the disease infected ass of Rush Limbaugh, which was then fertilized and nurtured for six days and six nights by Ann Coulter, who subsequently gave birth to the end result.
Stats: Glenn Beck is roughly humanoid in appearance, comprising 80% feces, 10% grain alcohol, 5% hot air, 4% unidentifiable matter and 1% human skin.
It feeds on liquor, various drugs, hatred and media attention.
It's primary habitat is currently the Fox News studios in New York City.
Glenn Beck's political beliefs are an extremely demented and warped version of Right-Wing Conservativism, coupled with an even more demented and warped version of Christianity.
Glenn Beck is known for spouting an endless stream of lies, distortions, half-truths, propaganda, false claims, made-up facts, treasonous banter, harmful advice, and good-old-American-bullshit.
Glenn Beck seems to host what outwardly appears to be a cable news program, but is in reality a paid political shill factory with zero journalistic qualities. Glenn Beck is also accompanied by several other of these "Fox Newscasters," all of of whom have never attended any type of journalism academy or have received degrees in said subject.
What to do if you encounter Glenn beck:
Your best hope is to toss him a bottle of cheap scotch, run in the opposite direction and hope for the best!
Not satisfied with having a cable "news" show, Glenn Beck must also spout his banter on a syndicated radio program as well.
1. Synonymous with the word "bullshit."
2. Synonymous with the word "myth."
3. Synonymous with the words "drug addict; alcoholic."
4. Synonymous with a radio/TV host who spreads bullshit, myths, rumors, and a bunch of other random, nonsensical fuckery on a daily basis. Used to be an alcoholic and a drug addict.
1. David: Hey Doug, I heard some bad rumors about you at school.
Doug: Don't worry, it's a bunch of Glenn Beck.
2. In Ancient Glenn Beckology, there were stories of dragons and serpents. Note: I said STORIES.
3. A: Bill became a Glenn Beck, so he smoked pot until his brain stopped functioning.
B: Michael sure loves his booze, he must be an Glenn Beck!
4. Glenn Beck: Welcome to the Glenn Beck Program, my shit smells excellent.
a talk show host who recreated his whole persona to fit the neo-con mold. Started the latest fad of glennbeckingwhich is a method of getting rid of anyone who has a different opinion than you do.
Glenn Beck on killing filmmaker Michael Moore
"I'm thinking about killing glennbecking Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out -- is this wrong?" 5/17/05
1. A mangina that pisses sitting down.
2. The fecal drippings from a buttsex creampie that run down the taint to create an unwanted pregnancy.
3. An aborted abortion, the result being that only the brains have been vacuumed but the person remains very much alive.
4. One of the original Garbage Pail Kids.
5. An "anchorman" who leaks estrogen out of his man-tits and cries repeatedly but is still one of the most fair and balanced personalities on Fox News.
1. I know she wears a skirt, but that's a dick-tucking Glenn Beck.
2. She went to the clinic to take care of that Glenn Beck.
3. That poor Glenn Beck can't even velcro his shoes by himself.
4. That Glenn Beck is the least valuable Garbage Pail Kid card ever.
5. Wow. Did you see Glenn Beck last night? That was a great newscast!
The epitome of stupid.
You don't need one if you've seen "Glenn Beck" on FOX.
Just some fat bastard with a really annoying voice who thinks he's hot shit, when is just shit. Lying is his hobby and lacks the brain to argue those who oppose his views and one of the biggest losers on television. How he got his own show is beyond me.
CNN viewr: Yesterday, Glenn Beck says Iran is the biggest threat to the planet even though the NIE reported them shutting down the nuclear power program years back last month. Can you believe that moron?
Climate Change: Who cares, makes my job easier and quicker.
The Pee-Wee Herman of news punditry. A goofball extraordinaire who defies conventional wisdom by maintaining a loyal audience.
Caller: I'm asking you a logical question!
Glenn Beck: I'm giving you a logical answer!
Caller: You don't have logic!
Glenn Beck: You're right.
Caller: Where's your logic? What would you do? I'm asking you, "What would you do to change this healthcare system for the better?" After all, everytime you people bring up cost, you don't care about the trillions of dollars going to the banks and all the credit card companies...
Glenn Beck: Cathy, GET OFF MY PHONE!!! GET OFF MY PHONE YOU LITTLE PINHEAD!!! I DON'T CARE!!! YOU PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE TRILLIONS!!! GET OFF MY PHONE!!! I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND TODAY!!!!
The only male in history to survive an abortion
but THREE times...but even greatness such as this comes with a price
And in this case it's called mental retardation
BUT THIS MAN PERSEVERED!!!
And accompanied his mental illness with drug abuse and alcoholism
AND THIS MAN STILL STANDS TALL, HE STILL STANDS STRONG!!!
He will own all your bases....he will own the children you thought would be safe inside those bases and unlike the mighty Titan Cronos (who inspired Obama to be a Marxist. I know this because Glenn knows this) He will not imprison them in his stomach...
BUT HE WILL DISINTEGRATE THEM FOR THEIR INEPTNESS AND LACK OF ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!
Glenn Beck knows when you're sleeping...he knows when you're awake and he knows if you've been conservative or Marxist so conserve for conserving sake.
And if you DARE DECEIVE HIM, he will hunt down your family, your friends, your co-workers, your landlord, even the people who protect you and you will PRAY & BEG for mercy....but he never forgives and never forgets and he will never eat.....he will never sleep.....and he will never...stop....