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1.
A degenerative and chronic illness caused by spending too much time on a computer or gaming console. Extreme caution is encouraged if you come into contact with someone with Gigabytis as it is highly contagious.

Gigabytis consists of four stages, the common symptoms of each stage are outlined below:

1: colds & flues, itching, mild aches and pains, general nuisance to other people

2. Severe susceptibility to haematomas & enlargement of the testicles, however the opposite sex are constantly attracted to a newly formed and somewhat "mutant-like" virility.

3. Hair & memory loss are an unfortunate result of this stage, also commonly called "the gibbon stage" due to the primitive noises one makes when attempting to undertake a particular task.

4. People tend to avoid you, bones in your fingers have a tendency to break, accelerated mental regression, your bowel movements are putrid, and your success with the opposite sex is futile.

Stage four is the final stage before terminal terabytis ensues, which is unfortunately not treatable with western medicine.

It is important to check consult any qualified IT professional about the inherent Gigabytis levels when purchasing a specific computer or gaming device.

Gigabytis is also a sexually transmitted disease, it is advised to exercise multiple methods of contraception when fornicating with a Gigabytis sufferer. If you experience any of the above symptoms please see a medical professional immediately.
Gavin contracted gigabytis after a java, perl and mysql programming marathon. He now lives with his parents, makes stupid noises all the time, and a general pain in the arse. God help him before it’s too late.
by Professor Huxtable December 21, 2009