A mystical instrument forged in the fires of hell to bring about guitargasms to the poor people of the planet Earth. Twas written in the stones that only those that are worthy shall wield this mighty maiden of justice. Such people are James Hetfield, Claudio Sanchez, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, and Ellisniss MGP. The Gibson Explorer's true power may be unleashed when set in the middle of a ten-foot diameter pentagram drawn with the blood of your helpless victims (that listen to country music). You must then perform a satanic ritual to call upon the great god Cthulu and use his magic to give your axe powers granting you the ability to command your army of winged breast dragons to take over the world one city at a time until you are supreme ultra lord of this pitiful planet. However, such power can not be summoned by any mortal. This person must be a guitar GOD.
The Gibson Explorer helped me conquer and enslave the Martians. I then proceeded to extinguish their race. That is why we can't find them.
by Ellisniss MGP January 17, 2010