1) 43rd President of The United States.
2) 21st century American leader who’s rise to power necessitated the downgrading of Caligula, Nero, and King George IV to ‘moderate’ twits in the History of World Politics Almanac.
3) American president who frequently confused a Scottish terrier for that little black briefcase containing the DEFCON 1 nuclear alert codes, and carried it with him on the Marine 1 helicopter as a result of the mistake. (Ironically, most of his staff was actually relieved when he made this mistake.)
5) The Bush family's equivalent of Fredo, in the Corleone family. (Except for the part about ‘banging cocktail waitresses two at a time.’ Substitute countries.)
6) The first American head of state to argue that Raphael was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle during a presidential debate. (The American electorate took this as a comforting sign that he was not a member of the 'liberal elite,' and re-elected him.)
7) The political equivalent of Wile E. Coyote:
ie-despite having unlimited access to Acme giant magnets, sling shots, rockets and vanishing cream, somehow managed to:
a) Be too stoned to hit the bottle when asked for a urine sample, requisite to getting flight status in the Alabama Air National Guard.
b) Go broke in the oil business in Texas in the middle of an oil boon.
c) Not realize that Osama bin Laden was about to attack the United States after being handed an intelligence bulletin entitled "Bin Laden about to attack the United States" two weeks before Bin Laden attacked the United States.
d) Invade Iraq in an attempt to capture a flea-bitten rat scrotum who was actually living in Afghanistan at the time. (Although, the confusion in geography was clearly President Clinton's fault for getting spooge all over the official White House Atlas.)
e) Whip the American public into a xenophobic frenzy against Arabs as an election issue, then sell American ports to Arabs in an election year, then claim he didn't know what he did, but that he was going to defend to the death what he didn't know he did. (see: clusterfuck.)
f) Appoint his Harvard room mate Jim Ignitowski to be head of FEMA, despite having bunrt out most of his brain cells with LSD during the 60s.
g) Nominate a candidate for the Supreme Court who's only obvious qualification for the job was that she was an expert in pulling his metaphorical ding-a-ling.
h) Constantly shoot his fellow Republicans in the foot. (A variation of the tactic commonly employed by VP Dick Cheney to raise party funds.)
8) A generally good natured and nice guy whom you would like to be leader of your kids in summer camp, but not necessarily leader of the free world in the new millennium.
Bush during hurricane
Worst thing to hit USA
Would YOU trust him?
If he's such an idiot, how come he always wins?
Do you know how to use one of these Mr. President??
Hanukkah Bush 2004
Bush during the Pledge -- Note the position of his hand
Moe Bush, he has condescending nicknames for all his 'pals' ... compassionate.
George W. Bush - President of the United States
One Term President
Jenna Bush and Daddy Bush
What did you say?
Later, when no wmds were found, he fiddled with terror alerts, implied connections between Iraq and 9/11, changed the definition of the word "liberation" to "invasion", and generally deceived the American people.
George Bush constantly encourages misconceptions about the war on Iraq and John Kerry, possibly because he does not understand these things himself.
If you disagree, tell me, why DID we go to war with Iraq? Don't just say why we should have gone, or what makes sense to you (i.e. Saddam Houssein was a dictator, find out exactly what George Bush told us.
1. Turned the largest US surplus into the largest deficit in American history, then gives tax cuts when he should be raising taxes to get more money for the country. (And of course, he only gives tax cuts to all of his rich buddies.)
2. Blamed bin Laden for 9/11 (which is okay), but when he couldn't find him, made Americans forget about him by diverting their attention to Saddam Hussein, who had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11. Has he found bin Laden? Has he found any WMDs? Didn't think so.
3. Feels the need to stick his nose in Iraq's business and "improve" their government while bombing and completely destroying Iraq-it's obvious it's just an excuse to go to war.
4. Lies about there being NO terrorist attacks since 9/11, when there have been quite a few that he covers up or makes America forget about. (Like that anthrax threat a few years ago for example.)
5. Passes the Patriot Act to keep America safe from terrorists while arresting people who aren't terrorists, never catching the people who are, and violating SIX AMENDMENTS of the Constitution.
6. Passes "Clean Air Act" which actually makes the air dirtier.
7. Makes every country in the world besides Britain and Poland hate us.
8. Quits the Kyoto Protocol because it would make his rich buddies actually spend some money to reduce global warming, and God forbid anyone has to spend money.
9. Throws ultimatums at the American people that only a complete idiot could fall for (and a lot have) like "You're with us or you're with the terrorists" and basically just gets America to be loyal to him out of fear.
10. Only gets into Yale because of his father and passes with a C- average.
11. Has said enough stupid things to fill 265 pages of "Bushisms" books.
12. Gets elected into office after losing by over 10,000 votes. Do you think it's a coincidence that his brother was the governor of the state that the whole election depended on in 2000??
"The Rise of Hitler"
"If you see a train wreck coming, you ought to be saying, what are you going to do about it, Mr. Congressman, or Madam Congressman?"
"We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind."
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"