Occasionally wiping just won't cut it and leaves people feeling dirty. Rather than plugging away, clogging the toilet with TP and chafing your arse, just jump in the shower.
Once my defecation was complete, I disposed of the deuce in the aft sump and made Rappy pump it to the bilge collection tank. That really stunk up the engine room!
After watch was over, I felt dirty. Suddenly I realized that I should take a Full Body Bidet to restore my desired "Full Body Clean" feeling.