1) any 24-hour news network for more than a minute.
2) Explanation of George W. Bush's environmental policy
3) profound rumination on the state of life as we know it
4) Door-to-door Jehovah's Witnesses at 5am
5) the realization that your dogs have eaten your entire easter basket and proceeded to vomit/explosive diarrea the whole thing throughout your living space
6) Stories about imperialism from the 1300's forward
7) the whole Bush administration
Respectable sentient being: "Oh...oh they fuckin' didn't...they did. Those stupid Fuck-fucketty-fuck-fuck-fuckers!"