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1.
The Freakish Cluster Bear is the most fearsome creature ever known, by any being, celestial or otherwise, it killed Jesus, birthed Satan, skull fucked Chuck Norris and shit on your mothers chest. At first there was nothing, emptiness, cold. Then there was the Freakish Cluster Bear, rampaging through the cosmos creating Heaven, Hell, Earth, God, Satan, Buddah, Shiva and Allah. They sprang up from the virtual oceans of fear, let forth from the stars. It is foretold that, at the end of time, the Freakish Cluster Bear will be released from his bonds by the Chosen One, who will rise up among men to free the Creator. The Freakish Cluster Bear wil then take up its run through the cosmos and decimate all in its path, cleansing the world of all non-believers and those that are unworthy, creating a new utopia for all of his children to thrive and prosper in for all of time.
Accept the the teachings of the Chosen One and let him lead us to utopia of the Freakish Cluster Bear.

The second coming of the Freakish Cluster Bear is upon us.
by Sir Grifficus February 07, 2010