The only country in world history that has a war record of 1-15. With their only war won being the French Revolution, which by a happy chance was a war composed of only French on both sides. Which in theory means that they both lost and won the French Revolution, so if I was an asshole I could say the French have never in history won a legitament war that was against any formidable opponent. By the way, in America if you don't finish first your last. So.....ties don't count.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States Entering the war late -ed.. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
by abuttfuckingweinerlover March 10, 2009

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A woman who gives great hugs.
Give me a France hug :)
by ohshnaphazel March 19, 2013

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An intellectual young and extremely beautiful woman.
Frances is the definition of perfection
by v.p.a.m September 24, 2015

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Frances is a kind person, yet a tough cookie! Frances is smart,beautiful, friendly and can make anyone like her. She easily makes friends, and she knows how to fight. She is a total fiyahhhh. Knows how to roast people till they break down crying. An amazing friend who doesn't take bullshit from anyone else. It musically skilled. She is like a diamond one in a million. She knows how to make you smile, and can make these hilarious ass jokes
Frances: Bitch, your hairline on delete, edges completely incomplete 😑

Crowd: ooooooo *says in harmony*
by Missy.Lizaa💞 March 27, 2015

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Cute blonde with a passion for fashion and typography. Don't get on her bad side, she'll beat you up and cut you into pieces. Always makes everyone laugh. HAHAHA
"Hey, look at that girl over there, she is so cute!"
"That's Frances, she killed four people last week!"
by Deinemuddarockt February 09, 2015

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1 - The antonym of England, and, in certain cases, of U.S.

2 - The richiest land of the Roman Empire (Galia)

3 - The winner of several wars and battles

4 - The land of the Liberty, the Equality, and the Fraternity

5 - Homeland of the French people

6 - Great producer of wine and cheese

7 - Country with the better culinary of the world

8 - Ally of the americans in their Independence War
A English: What do you think about waterloo?

A French: What do you think about Joana d'Arc?

A English: What do you think about... ehr...

A French: What do you think about the American independence War?

A English: ...

A French: How's about Austerlitz? And the Somme?

A English: ...

------------------------

A English: I shall go to France. Then I'll wrote my name on the Eiffel Tower and say that we are better educated in England.
by Someone besides me January 25, 2011

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A country that doesn't know how to win a war.
Person 1: Hey man. I haven't been keeping up with the war. Who is winning?
Person 2: Definitely not France, that's for sure.
by FridayLover May 29, 2014

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A nation composed entirely of homosexuals and effeminate hermaphrodites, most of which make a living as prostitutes. As a result of this and their decadent habits, namely, protesting the fact that they have to earn their baguette dildos and shitty wine with hard labor by day, and smoking cigarettes in cafes and bitching about their easy lives all night, every war they have ever entered ended up, sooner or later, in them opening their assholes wide and letting the enemy rape them for hours on end. The only gear French soldiers carry into battle are white flags and lube, as surrendering and getting assraped is all they are good at.
"What are all these faggots doing here spreading their assholes and putting white flags in them?" "Oh, they came from France last week."
by The Antidote February 26, 2014

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