The only country in world history that has a war record of 1-15. With their only war won being the French Revolution, which by a happy chance was a war composed of only French on both sides. Which in theory means that they both lost and won the French Revolution, so if I was an asshole I could say the French have never in history won a legitament war that was against any formidable opponent. By the way, in America if you don't finish first your last. So.....ties don't count.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States Entering the war late -ed.. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
by abuttfuckingweinerlover March 10, 2009
Beautiful. Bootylicious. Smart. Dimples are gorgeous! Is a lover not a fighter. Has been hurt by quite a few guys. Has trust issues. Loyal. Trustworthy. Honest. Loves playing video games and listening to music. A sweet heart. She loves laughing and loves to see other people smile. Easy to get along with. Any guy would be lucky to have her.
Frances has dimples like no other!
Frances has a lot of booty
Frances is very loyal
Frances is super beautiful
by gangstaaa123 January 09, 2012
Frances , wow what can i say , pure goddes , one of a kind she is very witty , sexy, intelligiant, caring and fun to be around . Loyal to all who know her , and if you're lucky enough to be someone she likes , she will always have your back. This girl can party hard is an amazing lover , always smiling and fun to be around. For the lucky few you may even to get to see her soft sensitive side very kind and caring to the lucky few . Friend ,fierce protector and what a lover . This girls has the ability to turn head's with a glance , or a smile and has the ability to satisfy any man , both body and mind , with her kinky antics every were and anywhere , not for the faint hearted is this wonderful woman , one of the very few women who can be as kinky as a porn star , and a caring gentle love when needs be .This girl is the hole package , smart .sassy ,sexy and sensual. Life will never get boring with this girl around.!!!! Hold on to her tight and don't let her go!!! Or you will regret it for the rest of your life !!!
Frances , when ever , were ever let the good time's roll. Dude you got yourself a frances that girl's a keeper . Frances the ability to make fantasy a reality !!!! House wife to porn star in 60 seconds
by Who's your daddy July 04, 2012
A country that many people are harsh about, but they are just jealous because french people are proud of the country they live in. There is that typical stereotype of smoking like chimneys and onions round their necks, but you are all wrong - we're all human.

There are four different parts to France, North, South, East and West, all different and special from one another.
North: Quite a boring area, but a good place to do some decnet shopping. Not the nicest of towns, but best of all, the capital - Paris. It's beautiful, you just have to look in the right areas.
East: Again another boring part, just plain land for farming, France will never run out of food.
West: Near Spain, lovely place to be with the Pyranees and the sea nearby. Second best area in France.
South: The best part with incredible weather, to moutains ans famous beaches. It so hard to describe because it so wonderful there - go there!
oh my god this place is amazing, we must be in France!
by frenchieyeaaaaaaaah July 10, 2009
a country that for some reason hates america and america hates them back. i have two major issues with this country
1) they think that they saved us from the British during the revolution... wrong. they only helped us after seeing that we were for real and then decided to help and to rub it it England's face.
2) they treat us like shit even though we pretty much sent many young men to their deaths on DDay. to all french assholes that think America sucks go to Normandy, look for the American flag and then look at all the white gravestones, that was from one day of fighting to free you guys from hitler's reich.
French guy: (with that accent) America would not exist without help from france
American: no we had it from there appreciate the help though

French guy:(same accent) America is garbage! they are all lowlifes compared to france
American: well you should thank those lowlifes who are now buried in Normandy to free you from hitler shitface.
by xtremlylucky January 30, 2011
pretty, short . she always hanging out with boys and when you first meet her she quiet and look mean but after you get to know her she loud and funny . she the coolest girl you know . she will always have your back . and she will keep it 100 with you . and she very blunt
frances always say whats on her mind
by francesssss05 December 15, 2013
A good place to go if you're an internationally wanted fugitive, because they don't extradite.
Person 1: I think I need to leave the country.
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: Well I'm wanted by INTERPOL for secretly defrauding most of the countries in the G27.
Person 1: Did you defraud France?
Person 2: I don't think so.

Person 1: Bon Voyage. Send me le vin.
by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 13, 2010
Full of very good looking people up to all ages, nice food and scenery.
Heck, what else can I say when I've a crush on a French guy anyway?
Girl 1: Omg, that guys hot.
Girl 2: That's because he's from France, duh.
by ILikeToSmell January 03, 2011

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