The only country in world history that has a war record of 1-15. With their only war won being the French Revolution, which by a happy chance was a war composed of only French on both sides. Which in theory means that they both lost and won the French Revolution, so if I was an asshole I could say the French have never in history won a legitament war that was against any formidable opponent. By the way, in America if you don't finish first your last. So.....ties don't count.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States Entering the war late -ed.. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
by abuttfuckingweinerlover March 10, 2009
OK, France and America fell out over Iraq, but if they're good friends, can't they patch it up? Far out, these two countries used to be so close, so I think it is at least possible instead of all this constant France-bashing and vice versa. People who do that shit, I have one thing to say. Grow up.
American: I think we should patch up our quarrel with France.
2nd American: Good idea, there weren't any WMD's anyway, that fucktard Bush made it up the fag!
by flightguy September 17, 2005
I've lived in France since 2001. It is true that 10% of the population of France is Islamic, and there are women in headscarves and strange drab overcoats in the hottest weather. But like 90% of Muslims worldwide would prefer, these are people who are here for "liberté, égalité, fraternité". France also has the largest Jewish population of a European country.

France enthusiastically supports UN efforts to keep the peace, notably in Africa, where the Congolese wars have cost 4 million lives since 1998. France has always been the great country of diplomacy and supports just, negotiated and multilateral solutions rather than "shoot first" solutions which regretably seem to have become accepted in my home country, England.

Cheeses are just as smelly in Germany and Switzerland, by the way. French cider is also great, but I'm sorry to say not the beer. And, American obesity would not be what it is without French Fries!

If anyone comes to live here, you will encounter the great character of modern France, the "labyrinthe administrative".
Vive la France! Liberté, égalité, fraternité!
by Lodowick July 28, 2005
Acronym for
Friendship Remains And Never Can End
enemy? whose enemy??
by Van Bria March 02, 2005
probably one of the most awsom people u will ever meet. she's sweet, kind, a good listener, a brilliant friend and she asks for nothin in return apart from to be understood :) she would die if she went a day without art, its her passion. she thinks nothing of herself even tho she's super pretty smart and interesting. she seems shy if u dont kno herr but once u get thru to her u wont regret it =D shes really fradgile and can get hurt easy, she deserves to be treatd like the princess she is. shes sucha sexy dinosaur you just cannt keep ur eyes off her ^_^ luv yu fanny wanny x
Frances is just so pretty i wish she realised how beautifl she is inside and out :')
by xMrsRyanRossx October 17, 2011
A western European country.
Prostitution is legal there, which makes them OK in my book
by Da Whitey November 11, 2003
amazingly beautiful. caring and kind. huge obsession with Panic! at the Disco. funny. interesting. smart. never boring. very talented. she is so stunning and she has been hurt a lot. i wish she was mine but we'r not even in the same country. anybody would be lucky to have her and i hope she finds someone who realizes how fucking awesom she really is and wont hurt her <3 shes such a pretty dinosaur and i wish she wouldnt think so little of herself :(
Frances is amazing i just wish she knew how amazing she is :/
by MrGhibli October 23, 2011
A country that is hated by the US and apparently, Britain. Fought in WW2 and was subsequently defeated by the Nazis. Liberated by Allied forces in 1944, and are known to be less hygenic than Americans. Good cheese and wine, but they smoke too much. Oh and 9/11? Biggest tragedy ever? Like hell. Look at the Holocaust (6 million), American incursions against Native Americans (12 million) but I'm not going to include American attacks on Japan during WW2 because that was wartime and in my opinion, perfectly justified.
Sorry if this became a rant against some redneck idiot.
by Militant Liberal April 28, 2005

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