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71.
The only country in world history that has a war record of 1-15. With their only war won being the French Revolution, which by a happy chance was a war composed of only French on both sides. Which in theory means that they both lost and won the French Revolution, so if I was an asshole I could say the French have never in history won a legitament war that was against any formidable opponent. By the way, in America if you don't finish first your last. So.....ties don't count.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States Entering the war late -ed.. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
by abuttfuckingweinerlover March 10, 2009
68 117
 
22.
A wonderful girl; playful at heart; loves to be affectionate and lives to be loved, although rarely appreciated until it is too late. Not very thick skinned; emotional and wears her heart on her sleeve. However, as hard as nails when this link is broken and once link is broken it is never recaptured. Easily hurt, often by others taking her for granted. A truly precious soul. Fun to be with; a hot lover who will keep her man happy and fired up when she is not with him. Frequently, she will be a stunner who turns heads but doesn't know the power she has. This one's a keeper!
Hey man, how was your weekend?
It was good but it would have been better if I'd seen Frances!
by boyfriendmaterial February 07, 2010
401 88
 
23.
A country in western Europe.
The statue of liberty located in the U.S.A. is a gift of the French people.
by Calmo November 04, 2004
1022 723
 
24.

A western european country. Also called "The Hexagone" by geometry-deficient journalists. 1000 km x 1000 km in its wider dimensions, but still a kick-ass country. Judge by yourself:

-35 hrs working hours a week, 5 weeks paid holidays a year, and still the 4th economy on the planet.

-main audience (hence funding source) for W. Hallen and D. Lynch movies, among others, thus supporting non-mainstream US movie industry

-full of people who still beleive that democracy mean that the government should be an emanation of People's will (unlike what happens in nowadays in most "democratic" countries,including the US.). But still managed to elect one of the craziest dictator-wanabees ever as president (N. Sarkozy). Crazy French people ;).

-Full of people who drink alcool and/or smoke like crazy, eat fat and tasty dishes, but still have a lower incidence of stroke, obesity, or even cancer, than in most of "civilized" countries.

-A country where oral sex is indeed considered as sex, but where sex is still not considered as a bad thing (this point may explain the upper one ;) )

-A country full of people who have an annoying accent when they speak english. A country full of people who have the sexiest accent ever when they speak english. (depending on the relative genders of the speaker and audience).

-The main reason why the US are now an autonomous country. And they did that only to annoy England. ;)

-The country which likes the most annoying the US (and other "superpower" countries, not to cite Russia), just for fun (and Principles, whatever this means to non-French people)

-The native country of Rousseau, Voltaire et al., who initiated the "siècle des lumières" and came up with the aforementioned Principles, now very useful when it comes to annoying other countries. Subsequently, a refuge for numerous free-thinkers (who said "just to annoy other countries"?). Famous examples are Leon Sedov (son of Leon Trotsky), just to annoy the USSR who was seeking to kill him, or Salman Rushdie, just to annoy the Ayatollas. The former was assassinated in Paris by a KGB agent whereas the second is still alive, which would tend to prove that the efficiency of French security services improved, or that the KGB was more efficient than islamist activists ;).

-The country the notion of "Human Rights" comes from (origin in the aforementioned "siècle des lumières"), but which is now one of the countries in Europe where they are the less observed in prisoners' treatment (just after Turkey). That's what "living on your reputation" means, folks! Still giving lessons around about human rights, just to annoy other countries (exactly the same as the US do about democracy).

-The country where the first touristic destination in the world is located (aka Paris). Note that people from Paris are considered as weird and unpleasant by most of the other people in France. You're not the only one ;). But some people say that they're that way just to annoy people from other countries!

-and so on... you can imagine the other sarcastic-but-friendly comments by yourself if you've been there! (And if you haven't, go and see before writing bullshit!)
-man, I tell ya, French people are jerks!
-Shut your shithole, you've only been to Paris, you don't know France!
by PiLS November 02, 2007
418 144
 
25.
perfection.

not only is she beautiful but she's got an amazing personality to go along with it. very charismatic and flirty. her dog Dior is the love of her life. you should be greatful to even just have met her once in your life. she is a keeper. she is meant to shine in the entertainment industry as an actress and singer and will use her power to help those that are less fortunate. but nothing hath like a woman scorned. she will make your life hell if u mistreat her or make her angry in any way.

her dog Dior is the love of her life.
wow i just met Frances and i feel like my life is complete.

i pulled a Frances and won the election with my perfect speech.
by faye531 February 03, 2010
348 83
 
26.
Probably one of the most beautiful country in the world. There are here so many different type of landscapes, weathers, people, accents (even different french languages), cultures for a country of that side. French people are smart, open-minded, tolerant with everyone, and peaceful. They have no hate against any other country in the world (maybe a little bit against Great britain but, damn, I don't know why).

I'm french but I spent part of my life living in Boston then Milwaukee and I can tell you for sure a lot of real things about french people (then u'll probably forget all your prejudices...) cause I've seen so many wrong things in this dictionary about them:
(sorry for the order)

- French people are NOT dirty or dumb or anything you can think they are;
- They don't have anything against the USA, they just think (I do too) that Bush is a dumbass, and so is your political system... (u guys can really have smthg better...)
- chicks are hotter here (and they aren't fake or plastic, they don't act and walk or dress like sluts);
- guy's ain't machos (go to spain...) and they know how to live, how to party and get drunk (we don't only have Miller Lite or Bud to get drunk...),
- U can go to bars, clubs, buy liquors or cigarettes at any age (even 15...), and you never have to show your id cause there's no age limit for anything
- Booze's cheap here (and u can have an open bottle in your car...)
- French people know how to dress (we don't all wear the same Abercrombie or AE clothes only to advertise and look the same in the street as U guys do)
- we know how to talk, we have a rich and beautiful language , you guys just use few simple words and put "fuckin'" or "actually" between each word.
- there is no segregation here (I used to live in Milwaukee, I know what it is...)
- people live healthy here and there is no (or almost) obese , cause they don't spend their time watchin tv or eating junk food...
- people don't try everytime to look like their idol by acting like them or imitating what they've just seen on MTV, by wearing the same clothes or having (everyone) the Motorola Razor
- People aren't all dreaming about 2 or 3 big cities (like NYC or LA) where they wish they could live one day, there are so many different cities where U can't imagine how pleasant it is to live there (and what about the unbelievable Paris...)
- We didn't invent the french fries, but the french kiss
- we have the world highest rate for the number of sexual relations per year...
- and one of the lowest for people killed by gunshot

But more important...
- School, High School, Preps and University are all free (I pay $500 for the whole year in my College, books included) so we don't think going to college is a privilege 'cause everybody can go (people died to establish that)
- Everyone have access to the social security and you always get your money back when you go to see a doctor (it's only 25 bucks a consultation and every cent is given U back.... even if your poor or don't even have a job)
- The French government doesn't put all the money into the army, our taxes goes to education and health, that's why it's free
- we don't cheat with the votes
- we don't drive V8 trucks that pollutes a lot just cause you think its cool to have a 10-foot-wide trunk to carry nothing
- we don't produce power anymore from coal, or fuel oil
- we cant have guns, and that's good
- we don't censure everything on TV or Radio.., u know u can see nipples or earing f-words, it won't kill you...
- we have an incredible rich history
- U guys are the only one in the world to use a so complicated and non convenient metric system (don't u wanna change it ?)
- We don't make everythig "diet" or "fat free", we just eat the good way (we don't think drinkin mountain dew all day long will keep me thin
- we helped you and -thanks a lot- american helped us, that's why we don't want and we don't need to hate each other,
- believe it or not, but french people are really grateful for everything you did for us.
- we like all kind of tourist, even if they are american, even though u think it's false
- there are no cops everywhere and our country is way way safer than yours
- our food is probably the best in the western world (some asian are delicious too)
- nothing can compare our wine, but some california wines are getting really good
- we don't put our flag on every wall and door
- and we're proud of everything we acquired (our social security system, our education system, our healthy and nice society, our peaceful and free opinion.
- everyone has the same opportunities here (I mean almost... but it's way better than the US.)

By the way, i really like the USA, but just look at yourself a little bit, u guys could do better
"Damn, this chick's so hot, she must be french"

"He parties and gets drunk like a french guy..."

"-I pay $40,000 for this great college.
-I'm in a better college in france, and I pay nothing."

"The first time I went to a clubs a drink a vodka-redbull, I was 16, and that was legal"

"my french car, which is not 15-foot long : 35 MPG"

"look at this fat man, he looks like an american"

"I've never seen such a beautiful landscape since i've been in france !"

"I'd die if i could never eat french food again"
by frenchman September 16, 2006
454 196
 
27.
Oh I forgot the point of William the Conqueror, his descendend the Avegin John (the John from Robin Hood, if you don't know who I mean) was the king the barons of England forced to sign the Magna Carta. Hence, beginning the idea of social contract, which is the basis for our own Consitution!
An historian who knows that this country has fallen, but can be restored.
by The Omnipotent Seal March 28, 2003
357 112
 
28.
A beautiful country, with a rich and colourful history and culture. A proud, nationalistic country.

Hated by many, especially the Brits, most of whom actually have no real idea why they hate us; probably because their father did. Many claim that we are rude; we are not, we just don't appreciate the (again, often British) tourist approach to our language; that is, to shout at us in English. We also do not suffer fools gladly; some people find that spiky, but hey, look at the results we achive through striking etc on a regular basis. We get results, even from our governement. We do not allow ourselves to be fucked.

Also hated by some, because we will not wnter a war situation without a bloody ood reason. Unlike Britain, who only has to hear Bush click his fingers, and goes running to hump his leg enthusiastically. You will never see this in France...
"I really miss France"
by Mordrez Moi September 16, 2006
327 113