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The only country in world history that has a war record of 1-15. With their only war won being the French Revolution, which by a happy chance was a war composed of only French on both sides. Which in theory means that they both lost and won the French Revolution, so if I was an asshole I could say the French have never in history won a legitament war that was against any formidable opponent. By the way, in America if you don't finish first your last. So.....ties don't count.
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.

- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.

- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War
- Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States Entering the war late -ed.. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
by abuttfuckingweinerlover March 10, 2009
Capital: Paris, 48°52′N, 2°19.59′E
Official Language: French
Demonym: French

Government: Unitary semi-presidential republic
- President: Nicolas Sarkozy (UMP)
- Prime Minister: François Fillon (UMP)

- French State: 843 (Treaty of Verdun)
- Current constitution: 1958 (5th Republic)

EU Accession: March 25, 1957

- Total: 674,843 km² (40th), 260,558 sq. mi

Population: 64,473,1405 (20th)

World's leading exporter of faggotry.
Contrary to popular belief, France's greatest contribution to the world has not been art, cuisine, or wine. It has, in fact, been faggotry.
by King Slim July 10, 2008
Natural habitat of the surrender monkey.
France was just one big safari, surrender monkies as far as the eye could see.

Look at that cute surrender monkey smoking and eating cheese!
by Couturedevoiture October 16, 2009
A country that was once a close ally of America, but is looked down on in America currently. Has fallen out of favor in America and Europe(I believe. I cannot say for sure, as I am not European) for not playing an active role in the War on Terrorism, and a few times, even hindering the fight.

Other than that, the French are well known for consuming much expensive, or exotic(to Americans) foods, having a country that is in surprisingly good shape, and being remarkably unmotivated fighters.
Despite being hated in America, France isn't THAT bad.
by A. Person November 26, 2004
The greatest centre of culture, society and art in the world until Napoleon. After that, a rotting, prostitutional, masochistic state. Soon will be an Islamic republic.
Au revoir France, I will always cherish your heritage in my heart :'(
by _insert name here_ January 09, 2005
A slang term used to descriminate the likes of french friends you have unfortunately stumbled upon in your life.
Calling them by this name indicates their need for bathing and proper acts of hygiene. They often stank of ass, drive shitty 1984 Cutlas Supremes, Have LG sisters, are pinner bitches, and often have low brow names such as John. Sometimes they are so French their name is spelt Jean
"Man, John is a Pinner Bitch."
"Yeah, Fuck France"
by Dennis The Browns April 21, 2009
A country which was bailed out by the US in WWI, WWII, and Vietnam. Yet only opposed the Iraq war because of all the money they lost in contracts between Saddam and Chirac. Oh, and claims to be a leader in saving the environment when they have more nuclear power plants than the US with less restrictions on environmental standards...
"We lost 10's of thousands of troops for France, and all we got was this stupid statue"
by Grooovy March 28, 2008
A country that put the best European country, "Germany" in to recession for no god damn reason. The country smells like s*** and looks like S***. The people are very mean, rude and stuck up. Annoying accents. Bad people over all. And a major threat to my country, "Germany" They basically hate everything. don't car about any one but theirselves.
jerks,rude people, France, mean,smells
by tewrrerfefggf March 07, 2009