Commonly known as "Footy". A game in which men who get paid 1million times greater than their IQ pretend to be hurt for 90mins. Football matches are then followed by excessive comsumption of cheap beer and violent riots featuring obese middle-aged men with no hair.
Wanna watch the Football?
Yeah mate, get us a beer.
one of the most un-athletic sports in the world. its stop and go, which means you don't have to be in shape. football consists the fattest players in sports. in the majority of high schools it is a non-cut sport. it also has the biggest meat heads that take steroids and don't give a fuck about their life.
Person 1: Dude. Want to play football?
Person 2: What are you calling me, fat and lazy?
A sport played by 22 men or women on a large grass field running around kicking a round ball. Also called "soccer" by Americans (to differentiate from American football), Canadians (to differentiate from Canadian football), Australians (to differentiate from Australian Rules football), and some Irish (to differentiate from Gaelic football). Therefore, despite what most every arrogant, narrow-minded Eurosnob or Britsnob thinks, The US is not the only nation which calls football "soccer," and no country calls it "soccer" due to ignorance, simply a different evolution of terms.
Every nation on Earth plays football, some better than others. The most popular club football leagues are found in Europe, where you can enjoy hundreds of pussy Europeans flopping and flailing and crying on the ground, only to get up ten seconds later, completely unharmed and unfazed, after they've made sure they have gotten the call from the ref.
Despite all the bickering about terminology, pussy players, and European retardation, football is a simple, fun game that can be enjoyed by everyone.
European football (especially Italian) in a nutshell:
-Player 1 takes the ball downfield after taking possession from Opponent 1
-Opponent 2 slightly brushes the leg of Player 1
-Player 1 yells, clutches face, falls to ground, writhes in agony, still clutching face, apparently unaware that their leg was touched and not their face
-Referee blows whistle, cards Opponent 2, awards free kick to Player 1
-Player 1 immediately gets up and acts like nothing has happened
a sport combining skill,muscle,brains and strategy, where a team works together to get the ball up the field to the end zone or to prevent it. once the team gets to the goal it becomes a touchdown.it involves alot of running and is very hard to master.there are people in the game called officials they call the game.
the pro football players are playing football in the superbowl
America: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone, even though the game is boring to watch due to constant pauses in the game. Is highly physical resulting in many health problems later in life. Is talked 99.9% of the time on Sports Center, even when it is the offseason.
The rest of the World: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone. Reffered to as "soccer" in America, is actually pretty exciting to watch, but can get frustrating as injuries are faked almost every 25 seconds
America: Person 1 "Hey did you see that segment on sportscenter about
Person 2 "Which one?"
The rest of the World: Person 1 "OMG that was an amazing goal!.....OMG that
guy is being taking off on a stretcher, did you see what happened?"
Person 2 " He got bumped into"
A useless sport in which men run around on a large field in tight pants, tackling each other over a silly little ball.
The man tried to tackle the other man who had the ball, but he didn't want to get his tight pants dirty.
Guy 1: What the hell are they doing?
Guy 2: They must be playing football.
an excuse for guys to check eachother out, some say the game is fun to play, but this is just a rationalization for the expressing of homoerotic emotions, through the comforting medium of sport. Appraisal of other males can be conducted during the game and also after in the men's locker which is sporty and fun and chemically involving as opposed to in the men's bathroom which can be psychologically invasive and shameful as society has conditioned us to view our bodily functions as uncultured and unspeakable. Homoeroticism in men is as natural as it is in women. A correlary for football in women is competitive trampolining.
Football is a useless unwatchable abomination of a sport as is trampolining for women, but I let my husband watch it because it helps him to establish wholesome connections with other men through sport who are also ashamed of their secret attraction to other men.