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79.
Perhaps the most mentally and physically demanding game out there. Tons of Strategy, Strength and Speed all in one game. Not to be confused with Soccer (Where Upper Body Strength is not required) or Rugby (In which any dumbass can be succesfull)

Players in football are required to memorize 100s of different plays, formations, and rules. Players have been known to lift 400-600 pounds (Incase you don't know that is A LOT) and have been known to run a 4.13 in the 40 (Which is EXTREMELY Fast) with a vertical jump of "43 (Which is AMAZINGLY impressive)
A Day in the Life of a Football Player:

"You're an offensive lineman and it's late in the game.

You're mentally tired. Sweat, snot and spit drips off your face as you look down to see your hand still shaking from when you crushed it in the first quarter. There is probably some nerve damage. Your knees ache, your back hurts so bad it's hard to stand up straight. You wince and feel a burning sensation. Your vision is blurred due to a cut on your forehead from your last collision with some alcoholic 6'5" 320lb War-Daddy running a 4.8, benching 500, and cleaning 401 at 17% body fat who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest, beats his girlfriend regularly and just insulted your mom with words you couldn't understand. His only instructions were to "Get to the ball, and be in a bad mood when you get there!!"

Now that just happened two plays ago and when you lined up for the next play you were still dizzy from what could probably be diagnosed as a minor concussion. But this is football and anything with "minor" attached to it just doesn't count. Now in the outside world you would probably miss a week of work and file some insurance claim, but here in your world you've got to suck it up for the next play. You're dizzy, can't get your balance, you barely hear the play, can't see, can't really hear the quarterback because of the 80,000 screaming fans, and then before you know it your man sacks the quarterback, takes off his helmet calls you a bitch while doing a dance.

Now the coach calls a timeout and you run over to the sidelines as your teammates yell "Come on! Get it together man!" The fans boo you relentlessly because they didn't drive 3hrs on a Saturday to see you blow the game because of a little headache. You barely make it over to the sideline because you're still dizzy and here comes your "motivational" speech from some wide-eyed 5'8" 280 lb redneck with a wad of chew in his mouth. "What in the heeelllll was that?! Get your ass down, your hands up and punch his @#$!. Didn't you hear the `River call?! They were in a 50 package with a weak side blitz. You know you've got to slide right you big dumb @#$!*! You made a commitment to this team!! Where is your pride son?!! People are counting on you! On YOU!! How can you call yourself an athlete and take that abuse in front of all these people and millions at home? God-bless son, what do your parents think? Get your head in the game!! If you don't want to play, hell, I got three freshman over there that will play for your fat ass!! I'll suit up someone from the stands before I watch you do that crap again!! I'd rather have my little sister out there giving 100% than watch you half-ass it out there because you're tired and you don't want to give the effort. Now get out there and do your job boy!"

So now you get in the huddle and here comes the quarterback with the call: "Larry Left, 90 XY out on Two, on Two. Ready ....BREAK!!

So here's what goes through your head: "90...90....What is 90? That's a 7 step drop. He needs lots of time. Damn my hand hurts! Larry Left. OK, I've got the tight-end on my side so the 7 technique will be wide. The Mike is right and I'm uncovered, so I've got the Sam to the end to the Corner. Easy. Oh crap, they eagled down and War-Daddy is lined up with me, and I don't have help because the other guard has a two technique and the center is uncovered and he has to slide. Better go from a two point stance, this guy is quick."

"Ready set, Black 280.....Black 280....Hut!! Hut!!.

He engages. You get a good punch. He counters with an inside rip. You open your hip, lock out your right hand and smash his @#$!* into the ground and kick him for emphasis. You look up and the Mike came on a delayed blitz and the center got tangled up with the two technique so it's between you and the Mike, between you and the quarterback getting the ball to the open receiver, between you and victory. You lunge, get a piece of his knee with your already smashed hand. You probably just broke it. It's not pretty, but you get enough of him. The ball is released and . . . Touchdown!!

After the win you sit in a pool of blood, dirt, sweat, snot, and someone else's blood. You smell like you slept in a garbage can. You sit there with 2 ice packs on each shoulder and an ice pack on your neck and one on your hand which is still throbbing. You have to get a trainer to cut the inches of tape and equipment and special padding you use to get your body ready for the game because you are simply too tired to move. As he works the tape off you vaguely hear him talking about how great the game was and how you're the man. He asks what you're doing after the game. You mumble, "I'm not sure, thanks man", and hobble off the table. The shower feels good but it stings like hell because of all the open cuts. You use shampoo instead of soap because it's easier to lather up. After a game it is so hard to do even the most minute things. You've just given 100%. People usually never push their body that far."
by CAperas September 10, 2006
119 184
 
29.
A sport played mostly by egotistic assholes.
Man look at how buff I am because of football.
by Carl_Doee May 25, 2013
2 6
 
30.
Football means different things in different places. In the United States of America, it refers to American Football, which involves 11 padded players (the offense) attempting to bring an oblong ball into the oppenents endzone, whereas the other 11 players (the defense) try to stop this from happening while trying to cause a turnover (interception, recovered fumble) or make the offense go 3 and out; as 4 downs are given to the offense to advance 10 yards. If they do so, they are given 4 fresh downs. To see more, search American Football or click on the link provided.

Football elsewhere refers to what I and other Americans know as soccer; which involves 11 players on each team attempting to kick a checkered sphere into the opponents goal. Hands can only be used by the goalie, who can not leave the rectangle in front of their goal; other players must move the ball by kicking it or heading it. See other definitions on this page or search soccer for further explanation.

I love to play American Football, whether it is casually with friends or competitively with my school team. I however do not like competitive soccer, though I do like playing casually with friends. It is a matter of prefence, and will everyone stop bickering about which one is better? It is opinion, nothing else.
Fan: Football kicks soccer's f&*%ing ass! Soccer eats hairy balls.

Fan: Football kicks American football's f#$%ing ass! American football eats hairy balls.

Reasonable Person: Oh shut up, both of you idiots. They're both good sports.
by soccer, football, whatever April 14, 2010
23 27
 
31.
the most exciting game on earth. the game can end up both teams having no scores or if lucky maybe it will reach the score of 3 or 2.

the better you act, the more times you can get some penalty kicks.

it is very exciting, you can watch it and take a nap and when you wake up both teams still don't have any scores
football fan #1: dang, i was not able to watch the game last night. people said it was very exciting

football fan #2: geez man you stupid. the game was intense, no one scored until the last minute. my boy del mundo did his thing, he acted like his balls were kicked, he looked like he was in deep pain and so they got a penalty kick and scored and they won. woo hoo! i love this shit
by iWontUseMyRealName2 August 01, 2011
10 15
 
32.
That sport where the legendary people in band play for the audience. If a football player gets hurt, he lays on the ground, while players are on their knees and the crowd is silent. If a marching band player gets hurt, they get right back up and walk it off. Football is for highschool. Marching band is 4LYFE!
While the boring football players walk off the field - not even in step! - , the amazing marching band comes to entertain the sleeping crowd with their halftime show.
by ChiroPanther October 30, 2012
3 9
 
33.
A sport which the point of the game is to get the Stewie Griffin head- shaped ball to the endzone for points by carrying or passing the ball. In the end whoever has the most points wins. NFL (National Football League) is a company that makes football teams all across America and puts games on television. The sport requires lots of padding as there is lots of tackling involved. To play you'll need this gear: Cup, Briefs(Jockstrap or compression shorts), Girdle, Football pants with thigh and knee pads, Cleats, shoulder pads, a jersey, and a helmet, mouthguard and chinstrap. Usually played by men.
Jillian: Hey I heard that hot guy Dylan is playing football for the school this year!
Lindsay: Yeah! He's trying out for quarterback!
Jillian: I'm so excited to cheer for him!
by FootballGuy July 16, 2012
1 7
 
34.
The gayest sport in all the world, even gayer than men's synchronised fisting in pink leotards to "Small Town Boy" by Bronski Beat.

An excuse to watch men in shorts lock legs with other men in shorts while they try to shoot white balls into your gaping orifice while your team mate tries in vain to prevent said hole from being violated.

So gay that supporters of football "teams" hold regular pride parades resulting in "who's the gayest" skirmishes to see who can be the first in prison to get bum raped.
"Hey man do you like football?"

"No I prefer tits to balls."
by Okotoimako November 06, 2011
13 20
 
35.
The best and most popular game in the world but the americans for some reason call it soccer wtf is soccer it was originally called footbal so american should call it that and call american footbal tackleball besides american football sounds like your trying to own the sport
everybody loves football, hey lets play some footbal and if you call football soccer your stupid so get it right
by Liverpool fan December 28, 2009
36 43