57
tourism & retirement bby. if you go down to orlando, you're either in a theme park or the gettoh. which, coincidentally, can be found within about 45 minutes from anywhere else. most southern are beach towns & it basically becomes cuba. the keys are pretty much orlando via small islands. yes, there are alligators. no, we don't walk to disney every day. the temperature ranges from hot to hotter, although it actually can snow in SOME places very rarely. up in whatever the hell that little place is that isn't america's penis, well. if you live there, you probably can't afford a computer. or you just can't read, so i don't even have to explain. along the mid-coast is actually pretty normal, although were lucky, as we can go to the beach ANNNYYYYYtime. which, yeah, everyone does. all the houses are fucking spanish-style, which drives anyone north of the carolina's insane ("this looks like a mexican resteraunt...") and every single thing has palm trees and pastel colors on it. 3/4 people are probably elders. most people are pretty tan all the time. or sunburned. whatever. nobody likes the cops here. or the "endangered" birds, which convientiently land in front of the car when you're running late, and only then, while hitting them is illegal. ("they don't seem too fucking endangered, they never leave!") education is sitting in a non-air conditioned classroom with a teacher that hates you as much as you hate them. everyone honestly thinks orlando is the capitol. there are way too many people "passionate" about the gators. the daytona 500 isn't really a big deal. drugs are crazy, as well as "gettoh" kids that think living outside of a gated community is hardcore. ("welcome to the gunshine state muthurrr.") shut up and drink you're orange juice, YOU'RE IN FLORIDA!
no, paintings of pelicans are not the "shiznatt" down in florida.
by katharine? March 05, 2008
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58
A overrated, hot, hellhole of a state. Filled with Cubans who don't always speak English. In the Northern part it is full of rednecks who also can't speak English that well.
Guy-Hey I went to Florida.

Guy2-Which part?

Guy-Miami.

Guy2-Oh, so you basically went to Cuba?

Guy-Yeah, pretty much.
by IamGlove June 12, 2011
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59
Someone who enjoys having sex with a female when she is bleeding from her vagina.
Sally rode upon Johnny's dick whilst she was mid period... Flo Rida
by pronothing December 20, 2011
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60
5% amusement parks
3% beaches
92% Rednecks
"I went to Florida this summer!"
"Really? What part?"
"The 3%. The part that doesn't suck."
by Mnoel September 10, 2008
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61
Florida is actually not a bad place if you live in one of the right areas. These places are usually on the southern half of the gulf coast and east coast.

While there are many stupid rednecks in the "southern" part, which is actually the northern area of Florida, everyone who lives here is not stupid. I happen to live about a mile away from the one of the best public high schools in the nation.
"You live in Bellair, Florida ? You must drive a Maserati then."
by Katettttt April 08, 2006
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62
The hell-hole I live in. The place where if you can't get a job at McD's, you decide to become a cop. The place that that moron George W's brother is governor. The place where Jeb Bush could not answer a math question that was on the 10th grade FCAT (standardized test). The place where there are very few smart people. The most popular place for hurricanes to hit in the country. The place where old people come to die. The place where spring-break kids come and party, get busted by the idiot cops, and then never leave. The place with beautiful beaches and morons on them.
The place that is inhabited by Spanish-speaking people, MORONS, more morons, idiot cops, old people who can't drive, spring break kids who can't drive, more morons, cops who break the law every day, more morons, some rednecks (like me), and VERY few intelligent people (like me).
This is the place that George W. originally said he "didn't need", but then had his brother steal it for him even thought Gore won the popular vote. The place where all the morons live, and the smart people can't find a way out because the idiots hinder their every move.
Also called the Sunshine state, although it rains almost every day.
Also called Hell's waiting room.
1:"Hi, I'd like to work here."
2:"What's your IQ?"
1:"Forty!"
2:"Sorry, you can't work at McDonalds. Why don't you try the police station down the street?"

1:"I have to go to Florida to visit my grandparents."
2:"I love you, man. I'll see ya in heaven."

1:"Did you take the FCAT?"
2:"No, I'm a Bush. I don't have to."

"Do you speak English?"
"No."

Cop:"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
You:"No."
Cop:"Awww, dammit. I thought one of us would know. Oh, well. You ran a red light, okay? We'll say you ran a red light. Here's your ticket."

"What's our nation's capital?"
"Ummm...Miami?"

"What do you want to do today?"
"Ooh, let's play Bingo! I haven't done that since I had a heart attack last time I won! That was almost two months ago!"

"Oh, these beaches are beautiful."
"Yeah, will you still think so Tuesday?"
"What happens Tuesday?"
"That's when the hurricane is gonna hit."
"Which hurricane?"

"I got a 340 on the SAT!"
"Wow! That's good! I only got a 420!"
by Perple September 17, 2004
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63
the state located at the south east end of america. known for drug dealing,disney,miami,oralando. south side bloods and crips reside there the crips currently own most teritory.
florida is da crunkest state aside form NY.
by bongtokincrip October 10, 2006
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