57
tourism & retirement bby. if you go down to orlando, you're either in a theme park or the gettoh. which, coincidentally, can be found within about 45 minutes from anywhere else. most southern are beach towns & it basically becomes cuba. the keys are pretty much orlando via small islands. yes, there are alligators. no, we don't walk to disney every day. the temperature ranges from hot to hotter, although it actually can snow in SOME places very rarely. up in whatever the hell that little place is that isn't america's penis, well. if you live there, you probably can't afford a computer. or you just can't read, so i don't even have to explain. along the mid-coast is actually pretty normal, although were lucky, as we can go to the beach ANNNYYYYYtime. which, yeah, everyone does. all the houses are fucking spanish-style, which drives anyone north of the carolina's insane ("this looks like a mexican resteraunt...") and every single thing has palm trees and pastel colors on it. 3/4 people are probably elders. most people are pretty tan all the time. or sunburned. whatever. nobody likes the cops here. or the "endangered" birds, which convientiently land in front of the car when you're running late, and only then, while hitting them is illegal. ("they don't seem too fucking endangered, they never leave!") education is sitting in a non-air conditioned classroom with a teacher that hates you as much as you hate them. everyone honestly thinks orlando is the capitol. there are way too many people "passionate" about the gators. the daytona 500 isn't really a big deal. drugs are crazy, as well as "gettoh" kids that think living outside of a gated community is hardcore. ("welcome to the gunshine state muthurrr.") shut up and drink you're orange juice, YOU'RE IN FLORIDA!
no, paintings of pelicans are not the "shiznatt" down in florida.
by katharine? March 05, 2008
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58
Oh god, my current home state. If you live there, either a small town in the south, or Melbourne and surrounding towns is the only decent plae where you won't be called a hick. I have to do to the rest of this wasteland for some cheerleading compititions, and I feel like I'll get shot. Trailer parks dominate most of the state, and the other half is the coast line full of condos, which are full of old people. If your not poor then you probably live in a private community (i.e. maybe a gate, definatly deffrently labeled neighborhoods) and go to one of the 485639670 different schools that you could be zoned for, even if someone living closer to it than you is going to a different one. Because just about every single child abduction yu see in the news is from Florida, the cops get every 13-year-old girl grounded because they decide them walking home at 6pm is dangerous, and they need a ride home. (I should know it happened twice in the last two weeks.) If you drive here, you've been pulled over at least once a month for no apparent reason for at least the last year. Every kid gets sprayed with the "RECLAIMED WATER" (shit water sprinklers) going to the bus stop. About 80% of every one ages 10-50 smokes daily, and not legally either. What do we do for fun? Wandering around aimlessly in outdoor malls at 10pm or getting drunk off your ass every night is pretty much all there is to do. Emo kids and "skaters" run the town. Pretty much everyone's parents are divorced, half the kids live with their grandparents, and the other half live in the shitty army housing. Everyone steals makeup from target, and the rich kids wear abercrombie and drink starbucks. You probably know people that shoplift as a hobby. Just call the kids white trash and wish you didn't live here. Fat sunburned tourist ruin the summer, but where the hell are you supposed to go?

NOBODY FROM FLORIDA, LIKES FLORIDA.
East Coast Kid= "OMG SO HOW MUCH FUN WAS IT LIVING IN FLORIDA!?
Florida Kid= "It was full of burnouts and single parents, why?"
East Coast Kid= "What? Didn't you go to Disney every day?!"
Florida Kid= "You would think. No, I had to spend my time pretending to be interested in the bag of weed my 'friend' bought from his father."
East Coast Kid= "Ew..."
Florida Kid= "Tell me about it."
by kccc=] June 17, 2007
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59
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???Whadyahsay, sonny?
by Zach G. October 28, 2003
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60
The only place you can get your drivers license from the back of a box of Caption Crunch.
Yes, its my 16th birthday! Im gunna go get my florida drivers license now.

*cuts it out of a cereal box*
by Ezgamer January 08, 2006
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61
A straightforward, evenhanded review from a Floridian:

Hi, I'm 29 and have lived in Florida my whole life. Here's what this state is like:

Florida is flat, hot, tropical, with beaches wrapped around. It's mostly summertime here, with "cooler" months between November and March. Expect temperatures between 35-75 during that time of the year, and it will still get pretty warm on some days.

Florida is home to some pretty big colleges: USF, UNF, UCF, FSU, and UF, all of whom have about 30k or more students. The crowd you experience depends on where you go: city people in Tampa and Orlando, youngsters near campus areas, Miami is Havana, Jacksonville is a big beach town, and many small quiet places.

It does not have the mountainous terrain that other places have, Florida is best for beach and city life. There are many people here with college and some career opportunities, however, it does not have the seasonal, outdoorsy life that some enjoy in places like NC, NH, and CO. Floridians generally live slow here, it is not the fast-paced Mid-Atlantic life that some like.
Florida is a nice place for certain people.
by rick1134 November 15, 2011
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62
5% amusement parks
3% beaches
92% Rednecks
"I went to Florida this summer!"
"Really? What part?"
"The 3%. The part that doesn't suck."
by Mnoel September 10, 2008
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63
Florida is actually not a bad place if you live in one of the right areas. These places are usually on the southern half of the gulf coast and east coast.

While there are many stupid rednecks in the "southern" part, which is actually the northern area of Florida, everyone who lives here is not stupid. I happen to live about a mile away from the one of the best public high schools in the nation.
"You live in Bellair, Florida ? You must drive a Maserati then."
by Katettttt April 08, 2006
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