An infernal peninsula, jutting out the southeast edge of the U.S.A. like a disgusting tumour. It consists mainly of weak people from the Northeast and Midwest who left classy, excellent areas like New York, Chicago, or Connecticut, their children who were raised here or forced here and are getting out at the first opportunity possible, native Floridians who are a bunch of miserable hicks and wear camo jackets and crap to high school, and immigrants who stay here because this is where they happen to be, and would probably get out very quickly if they found out what the rest of the country has to offer.

The political system of the State is atrocious. There's no income tax, so the State Gov't. gets all its money from sales and real-estate tax. This has many effects.

For example, the educational-system condemns the poor children of this State to recieve a quality of education and schooling that would be considered remarkable sub-par for such a developed country. Class sizes are commonly 35+ and even hit 40 quite commonly, and the teachers are paid such rubbish that many have to live with their parents or rely on their spouse for monetary support. Low pay results in many highly-capable individuals to be turned away from the job. So teacher quality is some of the worst you will find anywhere in the country.

The government having no money also results in a wait time of at least two to three weeks for power if a hurricane hits you. The hurricane months of August-October can easily get as hot as in the middle of the summer, so this situation results in the utter misery of picking rotten food out of the fridge, begging for the power to come back for the A/C to give you some release.

Oh and if a road is being built, take your estimate of how long it'll take to build, and triple it, and you're heading in the right direction.

With anything funded by the State government, just expect the worst every time, in any category, whether education, infrastructure, management, incompetence is the norm. Just come to expect it.

As for natural beauty, there is nothing to be found here. Florida literally has the flattest, most dull landscape, of anywhere you will see in the entire country. Kansas may be flat too, but at least it's scenic in it's own way, Florida is just a huge, swampy sandbar that was developed on for the masochists who moved here. The natural vegetation is just a mix of swampy shrubs and trees adapted for the muggy climate. Entirely dull and uninteresting.

The weather is also, yes, too hot. If you want a nice climate, you don't have to go to the muggiest place in the country. People in cold climates think they want one extreme instead of the other, but never realise somewhere in the middle makes more sense. There's too hot, and too cold, and Florida is too hot. There's no variety to the seasons, just one, sunny and muggy. Or rainy and muggy sometimes. The only bearable months of the year are perhaps December-February. The snowbirds often come during these months, and mistakenly come to believe that the weather is tolerable year around, and get stuck here.
"We were thinking of moving to Florida"
"Don't"
by d.c.r. September 14, 2009
What you get when you give your shit the ability to speak.
Timmy: "Huzzah!"

Poop: "You spin my head right round..."

Timmy: FUCK.

(Flo Rida)
by sleeveface March 15, 2009
best state in the mutha fucking country. down here you got beaches, mickey mouse,and great weather (expect during hurricane season) the state where the fucking snowbirds come down for the winter and ruin everything like clogging up the cities & driving at 25 mph in the fast lane. State where for some reason people from up north (mostly NY & NJ)move down to & start bitchin & saying things like: this place sucks, is so boring down here, I hate it down here, and I miss being up north. well those people can FUCK OFF !!! the only place where where the farther north you go the closer to the south you are & the farther south you go it seems that your closer to latin america. did i mention that the 305 (miami)has sum of the finest females eva.
the state of florida is da shit dawg
by 305boi November 25, 2005
Like most other states, nonresidence makes you ignorant to florida. Florida has 2 seasons. Summer and not as hot Summer. It is mistaken in the fact that everyinch of the florida coast isnt beautiful pristein water with beautiful half naked girls. The left coast has constant redtide and mangroves. House are constantly subject to change by mother nature, who has her own ideas about architecture. Florida style is not pink walls and tacky seafoam green coaches. That is what californian interior diseigners do to crappy little motels. Florida is tastefully latin. We do know how to vote, but the old people are to much of a pussy to just push the god damn thing through. We do not have aligators in our backyards. I have been a life long florida resident and have seen a good 2 wild aligators, and that was on one of thoose cheap tours where the aligators coem for the food. Wich makes them subsiquently, not wild. We dont love tourists, we love there money. Florida is a great place to vacation, but dont get me wrong. Florida is for floridians. Dont bring your fucking BMW's and building restrictions, beautification commities and stylists because you will single handedly sink florida. it happend before, dont do it agian.
Florida was beautiful, till you fuckers desided to come polute it.
by Master, Ruler of all things July 11, 2005
The 27th state admitted to the United States. Florida is a haven for predatory scammers, prostitutes, white trash, businesses predicated on dismal customer service, and people fleeing something (bad marriage, debtor's prison, organized crime, etc.). The economy of Florida is based on attracting outside people oblivious of these realities or well-to-do GLBT individuals to see post-teen so-called "performers" dressed in anthropomorphic costumes, relive the fantasy childhood they never had, and to visit nearly-abandoned beachfront communities (see: economic collapse). The state appears to be split into three distinct areas: South Florida, a largely Hispanic and New York polyglot; Central Florida, a region with no discernable product or industry where people who cannot afford South Florida live; and the Panhandle, which is more like Southern Alabama. These factors are offset by beautiful weather, exotic flora and fauna, and scantily clad women (see: prostitutes and white trash). Much of the former aerospace program existed in Florida.
Sammy: "Yo, I'm moving to Florida!"
Tony: "Who you running away from?"
by Hot East May 11, 2010
The place where you can cheat your way into presidency.
Bush won the election because of Florida
by Jacob December 12, 2003
A FLO RIDA is where a person sits on the toilet having a shit gives another person a blowjob, when the person has jizzed on the face and lips the person on the toilet stands up and sings, MY LIPS LIKE SUGAR.
A FLO RIDA is where a person sits on the toilet having a shit gives another person a blowjob, when the person has jizzed on the face and lips the person on the toilet stands up and sings, MY LIPS LIKE SUGAR.
by BOB JOHSON May 27, 2009
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