An infernal peninsula, jutting out the southeast edge of the U.S.A. like a disgusting tumour. It consists mainly of weak people from the Northeast and Midwest who left classy, excellent areas like New York, Chicago, or Connecticut, their children who were raised here or forced here and are getting out at the first opportunity possible, native Floridians who are a bunch of miserable hicks and wear camo jackets and crap to high school, and immigrants who stay here because this is where they happen to be, and would probably get out very quickly if they found out what the rest of the country has to offer.

The political system of the State is atrocious. There's no income tax, so the State Gov't. gets all its money from sales and real-estate tax. This has many effects.

For example, the educational-system condemns the poor children of this State to recieve a quality of education and schooling that would be considered remarkable sub-par for such a developed country. Class sizes are commonly 35+ and even hit 40 quite commonly, and the teachers are paid such rubbish that many have to live with their parents or rely on their spouse for monetary support. Low pay results in many highly-capable individuals to be turned away from the job. So teacher quality is some of the worst you will find anywhere in the country.

The government having no money also results in a wait time of at least two to three weeks for power if a hurricane hits you. The hurricane months of August-October can easily get as hot as in the middle of the summer, so this situation results in the utter misery of picking rotten food out of the fridge, begging for the power to come back for the A/C to give you some release.

Oh and if a road is being built, take your estimate of how long it'll take to build, and triple it, and you're heading in the right direction.

With anything funded by the State government, just expect the worst every time, in any category, whether education, infrastructure, management, incompetence is the norm. Just come to expect it.

As for natural beauty, there is nothing to be found here. Florida literally has the flattest, most dull landscape, of anywhere you will see in the entire country. Kansas may be flat too, but at least it's scenic in it's own way, Florida is just a huge, swampy sandbar that was developed on for the masochists who moved here. The natural vegetation is just a mix of swampy shrubs and trees adapted for the muggy climate. Entirely dull and uninteresting.

The weather is also, yes, too hot. If you want a nice climate, you don't have to go to the muggiest place in the country. People in cold climates think they want one extreme instead of the other, but never realise somewhere in the middle makes more sense. There's too hot, and too cold, and Florida is too hot. There's no variety to the seasons, just one, sunny and muggy. Or rainy and muggy sometimes. The only bearable months of the year are perhaps December-February. The snowbirds often come during these months, and mistakenly come to believe that the weather is tolerable year around, and get stuck here.
"We were thinking of moving to Florida"
"Don't"
by d.c.r. September 14, 2009

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Southernmost South Eastern state in the Union. This place is absolutely gorgeous, great fishing and golfing. Florida is the gateway to discovery and I love almost every part of it, especially the Keys where the immortal Hemingway used to roam.

Do like Jimmy Buffett and live your floridays, blues skies and ultraviolet rays
Florida is the golf capital of the world.
by Kryl July 08, 2004

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Jello-type fluid which comes out of the anus (Usually when the patient had flu type B)
Dude my underwear is soaked with Flo Rida.
by NameDropper April 12, 2009

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The southernmost state in the continental United States. Its nickname is "The Sunshine State." Though geographically the southernmost state, a lot of southerners don't consider us as "true southernrs" (well, those of us below Ocala, FL.) Thanks to the millions of OLD NORTHERN RETIREES (Snowbirds) that come down here every year to die/retire. We also have a very high number of jews down here. Known for it's beaches and year round sunny weather. Honestly, Florida is a pretty nice state to live in. You have to see through the BS. And yes motherfuckers, we are southerners (well, the ones that were born here.)
Florida - Southern State

Home to more snowbirds that you can count. Highest snowbird population in the south.

Second southern state where Hispanics make up the second biggest percentage of the population (Next to good ol' Texas)

Warm weather, sunny beaches, and blue skies.

Population wise, Florida the 4th largest state in the country

Second most populated state in the south next to good ol' Texas.

67 counties.

Home to many proud White, Black, Latino, Native American, and Asian SOUTHERNERS.
by AC January 10, 2006

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As a 6th Generation Floridian, I think I am pretty qualified to describe this state. I get pissed off when I hear a lot of the misconceptions about our state, especially from people who live here that think they know what they are talking about but, in actuality, have no clue!
Florida has no distinctive seasonal changes- It's either kind of cold, warm, or hot. Kind of cold is usually at 4am in the morning before the sun rises in the middle of January.
True Floridians know how to drive, tourists (Snowbirds) and immigrants have no fucking clue. They drive around staring at the pretty fucking clouds more than they stare at the road and pay attention to what they're doing. I have seen this happen time and time again.
We have cowboys- actual cowboys! Like the ones you see in Texas- they live in the middle of the state though mostly, away from the beaches and the "City life" as they like to put it.
It's not always sunny in Florida- Actually during the summer it is always raining. We are not in some mecca where the weather is always perfect.
Only people who are not from Florida freak out over hurricanes. We have plenty of warning people- It's not going to magically hit us overnight, so quit fucking freaking out and acting like the world is going to end 2 weeks before it hits.
Most of the Spanish people in this state are Republicans, so quit blaiming it all on the rednecks.
We have a lot of beautiful women but we also have a lot of ugly ones too.
Most of the good looking men are either gay or married.
Hog meat is plenty and bountiful and oh so scrumtious. If you don't like animal killers, don't move here.
The deer in S. Fla are very small and not worth hunting for. If you want good hunting go to GA.
Flip flops are considered shoes down here.
The roads suck- There is always some type of construction going on, though it's never quite clear for what. And it never ends.
There's not only Palm Trees people.
Most people in FL are not originally from Florida, so quit blaiming us for the stupid things that happen here. Blaim New Jersey, New York, and all the other Union states these people move from.
If you don't have AC in your vehicle you are shit out of luck.
The more south you go, the more you want to kill yourself.
True Floridians like to do outdoors activities and get fucked up, not just go to clubs and get fucked up.
Don't go swimming in Lake Okeehcobee or the gators will rip your arm off like they did that one idiot kid from Okeechobee.
Speaking of, gator hunting is a fun hobby, but if you don't know what you're doing, don't attempt it.
Most stupid things that happened in our state happen in others states as well. Enough said.
We don't visit Walt Disney everyday. That shit is for tourists from England mostly.
If you don't know what an airboat is, you ain't from here.
The schools aren't that bad.
Home Insurance is way too high in south florida.
There are too many gated communities in the suburbs. They act like they're in the fucking ghetto for Chrissakes.
We don't go to the beach everyday.
Ain't and ya'll are used everyday by true Floridians, get over it. Quit telling us those words aren't in the dictionary because we don't give a fuck!
We don't like tourists, we like their money.
If you want good drugs, such as marijuana or cocaine, Carol City has plenty. Enter at your own risk.
They're not roaches people, they're palmetto bugs. Roaches don't fly.
We have lots and lots of old people who love to call the cops. Fair warning.
If you don't like Florida, which most Yankees don't (i.e. "It's too fuckin hawt", "There's too much twaffic", "Damn rednecks", etc.) I-95 will take you right back where you came from! Have fun on the way back North!!!!
There is more I could say but I'll leave it to that. You can figure the rest out if you ever move down here (Which most of you probably will unfortunately.)
Florida- It is what it is!
by Blondee84x August 07, 2008

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The southern most state in the Continental US. People who live there range from hot girls in thongs to old geriatric patients. Anyone can get a drivers license in Florida; they come in cereal boxes as surprises. The education sucks there, while taxes keep rising. The main attractions are Walt Di$ney World, Universal Studios, Busch Gardens, Miami, Key West, and Panama Beach, although most Floridians have no idea they have a panhandle, let alone a city named Panama. Ask any Floridan what the capital is, and most will say Miami, thanks to the wonderful education system. Florida is also home to some of the best beaches in the East. What Florida lacks in social skills, it more than makes up in social life, as the clubs and beaches are filled with georgeous women (and men, if that's your preference) who know how to party, with or without others. Although Florida is technically a "Southern" state, it is very liberal in its thinking in the major metropolitan areas. Those centers allow for openly gay relationships, interracial dating, and other things the "South" traditionally stands against. However, away from those metro areas, the people become even less educated than the others and the true "Southern" mentality comes out. Very conservative in their own right, centers like Ocala and Lake City have very high majority rednecks. As a whole, however, despite its flaws, Florida is, and will always be, America's favorite place to migrate.
Coming from New Jersey, people from Florida say the drivers are bad there. However, even though it rains all the time in the summer, people from the "Sunshine State" STILL have no idea how to drive in a drizzle. I'm very glad it doesn't snow in St. Pete, cause I would NEVER drive down here then!
by Eagles Fan In Tampa December 11, 2003

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FLORIDA: Full of old retired people who will call the cops on you for ANYTHING you do.
Scott: *lights firworks on 4th of July*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops*
Scott: YOU FUCKING BITCH!

Old-fucking-neighbor: turn your music down
Scott: FUCK YOU! *bird*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *calls cops*

Scott: *takes paintball gun outside*
Old-fucking-neighbor: *worries* *calls cops*
Scott: FFS! Go fucking retire somewhere!
Scott: awww shit, thats what your doing now!?
by Scott (Dark) April 05, 2005

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1) The state Florida, with a space in the middle of the word. Because someone looked at a map and decided if he put a space in the middle of "Florida" it would sound cool.
2) The artist Flo Rida, who thinks he can rap but seriously sucks. If you don't agree, try listening to his love persormances. They sound like a ten year old trying to rap.
Guy: dude, do you have that new Flo Rida yet?
Guy 2: I know about new york and new jersey, but haven't heard of new Florida. Sorry.
by Asmonder May 13, 2009

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