The political system of the State is atrocious. There's no income tax, so the State Gov't. gets all its money from sales and real-estate tax. This has many effects.
For example, the educational-system condemns the poor children of this State to recieve a quality of education and schooling that would be considered remarkable sub-par for such a developed country. Class sizes are commonly 35+ and even hit 40 quite commonly, and the teachers are paid such rubbish that many have to live with their parents or rely on their spouse for monetary support. Low pay results in many highly-capable individuals to be turned away from the job. So teacher quality is some of the worst you will find anywhere in the country.
The government having no money also results in a wait time of at least two to three weeks for power if a hurricane hits you. The hurricane months of August-October can easily get as hot as in the middle of the summer, so this situation results in the utter misery of picking rotten food out of the fridge, begging for the power to come back for the A/C to give you some release.
Oh and if a road is being built, take your estimate of how long it'll take to build, and triple it, and you're heading in the right direction.
With anything funded by the State government, just expect the worst every time, in any category, whether education, infrastructure, management, incompetence is the norm. Just come to expect it.
As for natural beauty, there is nothing to be found here. Florida literally has the flattest, most dull landscape, of anywhere you will see in the entire country. Kansas may be flat too, but at least it's scenic in it's own way, Florida is just a huge, swampy sandbar that was developed on for the masochists who moved here. The natural vegetation is just a mix of swampy shrubs and trees adapted for the muggy climate. Entirely dull and uninteresting.
The weather is also, yes, too hot. If you want a nice climate, you don't have to go to the muggiest place in the country. People in cold climates think they want one extreme instead of the other, but never realise somewhere in the middle makes more sense. There's too hot, and too cold, and Florida is too hot. There's no variety to the seasons, just one, sunny and muggy. Or rainy and muggy sometimes. The only bearable months of the year are perhaps December-February. The snowbirds often come during these months, and mistakenly come to believe that the weather is tolerable year around, and get stuck here.
2. When you accidently type a space in between "Flo" and "Rida" when your trying to write "Florida" on your computer.
Me: "Fuck you, you suck ass, quit rapping and go work at Burger King bitch."
Flo Rida: "Chill out and get LOW with a woman."
2. Nerd: "Damn it, I typed a space in between Florida and thats why I got a B on my report."
Nerd 2: "I'm so sorry"
2) When you accidentally type a space between the O and the R in "Florida" and are overwhelmed with "Oh, shit" when you realize you've just referenced a shitty faux-musician.
Person 1: "You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down"
Person 2: Fuck you, you tool. It's "you spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right round round round." Jesus fuckin' H. Christ.
Further examples of musical theft: "Blue" - Eiffel 65 = "Sugar" - Flo Rida
Person 1: Where are you going for vacation?
Person 2: Flo rida
Person 2: Shit
Person 2: Sorry man, hit the space bar. FML.
What is true is that there is always hotass chicks wearing thongs around to have sex with, during summer there's always fat tourists everyware you turn buying overpriced shit, complaning how hot it is, and wearing things on the beach you should never wear.
Downtown Miami is drug central and the worlds biggest pawn shop. You need some dope, got it. You need an Usi or two, got it too. You need a hit, already done.
Most people who drive down here seam to have never gotten a drivers license. Theres the asshole who goes in the turning lane and nearly fishtails you, the old people who drive 30 mph on the highway, the chicks that just talk on their cellphone and cut clean across from the far right lane to the left turning lane, nearly causing a huge crash, and the guy who drives 30 mph on a 45 mph road but should be going around 50+ if there's no police around and when you try and pass him, he speeds up and stops you from passing if there's a faster car in the other lane.
We don't all live in apartments. I live in a two story house in the suberbs in Pembroke Pines which you probably never heard of. Its like houses in other states but are painted in a wide veriety of colors, no cibneys since we got a/c, and no basements since if you make a hole for one it will just fill with water and become an indoor swimming pool.
We don't care so much about hurricanes unless its a strong cat. 3 or a 4 or 5 coming straight for us like Andrew or last year's, Wilma. The rest are just annoyances that give us a day off from school and work. The only people that go crazy when a 1-3 hurricane comes in are tourists and people who just moved here and never been in a hurricane.
We need to get rid of Jeb Bush, FCAT, lazy tourists, F.E.M.A., crappy teachers, old people driving, satellite tv since the satellites always get destroyed in any hurricane, dumbass driving, racist police who somehow out of all the people on the road, pull over the black guy and says he did 90 on a 45 road, and Hummers. I mean seriously, what do you need it for? There's no hills or mountains here so you never use any SUV for its real purpose and most people don't get it for putting big stuff in so all you have it for is to look like you got some cash to burn on buying gas few miles for 2.25 per gallon at Cosco cause Shell is expencive, all other places are full and noone likes bp.
Overall its not a bad a place to live if you can deal with some of the downsides.
P.S.: Does all the gas stations up north got some dude fill your car up for you? I know its true in New Jersey but not down here. Just wanted to through that out.
-We're still looking.
In other news, where else but Florida; man dresses as alligator for court appearance only to.....
Do like Jimmy Buffett and live your floridays, blues skies and ultraviolet rays