The place where you can cheat your way into presidency.
Bush won the election because of Florida
by Jacob December 12, 2003
Florida, the one place where the father north you go, the father south you end up. Always has and always will be filled with old people, fucking tourists and us rednecks. Great place to live if you in enjoy the shitty education, hot, hot and hotter weather, hurricanes,humidity, fatasses in speedo's, sea lice and tourists all year round. But if you can get past all of the shitty stuff, then its not so bad. My current home state and has been for my whole life. some of the good things about living in florida includes:: you can spend the whole day at disney and drive home the same day, i personally only own 2 pairs of shoesthe rest are flip-flops, were not as stuck up as you think, most of us who do live here live in towns most people who live in north florida have never heard of. It's here where you'll find your rednecks. We live for friday nights when we can get rowdy at the football game,even though we all know our tems not gonna break the 40 game losing streak, but that doesnt stop us. We live for the after partys of any semi-major/major event. Everyone knows all the good back roads to go down so you dont get caught drinking, and when you do get caught, everyone in the whole town includeing your parents know within 10 mintues. Hardly any of us down here use any other type of phone besides the nextel direct connect. if you use anythnig else, your labeled as a fucking loser. This is where we pray for it to rain during the week to that the mudholes fill up and where if you dont show up at c&n, it better be b/c someone died. this is where everyone has a gun in their truck, not for protection, but in case an alligator trys to eat your dog. Down here in florida everything we eat is all natural, for meat: we got plenty of cows and wild hogs in our back yard. For Drinks:: go out and pick the oranges and lemons growing in your front yard, or whip yup some of that good old swwet tea. we have it all here.

There's a saying my old math teacher used to say, and can be only used for people who live in my town, Lake Placid, or as we refer to it, the L-TO THE-P! the people who live here are very proud of our town,where every weekend we're out on one of the 15 or more lakes in town. lp, which has a pop. of about 1000-2000 people, and home of the caladium captiol of the world bitchess!

the saying the goes for us hicks heer in lp goes something like this,

eat more beef, drink more orange juice and buy more caladiums, its good for the soul!

Florida isnt the sunshine state, its the gunshine state.
by Lovin the Sunshinee July 10, 2008
The hell-hole I live in. The place where if you can't get a job at McD's, you decide to become a cop. The place that that moron George W's brother is governor. The place where Jeb Bush could not answer a math question that was on the 10th grade FCAT (standardized test). The place where there are very few smart people. The most popular place for hurricanes to hit in the country. The place where old people come to die. The place where spring-break kids come and party, get busted by the idiot cops, and then never leave. The place with beautiful beaches and morons on them.
The place that is inhabited by Spanish-speaking people, MORONS, more morons, idiot cops, old people who can't drive, spring break kids who can't drive, more morons, cops who break the law every day, more morons, some rednecks (like me), and VERY few intelligent people (like me).
This is the place that George W. originally said he "didn't need", but then had his brother steal it for him even thought Gore won the popular vote. The place where all the morons live, and the smart people can't find a way out because the idiots hinder their every move.
Also called the Sunshine state, although it rains almost every day.
Also called Hell's waiting room.
1:"Hi, I'd like to work here."
2:"What's your IQ?"
2:"Sorry, you can't work at McDonalds. Why don't you try the police station down the street?"

1:"I have to go to Florida to visit my grandparents."
2:"I love you, man. I'll see ya in heaven."

1:"Did you take the FCAT?"
2:"No, I'm a Bush. I don't have to."

"Do you speak English?"

Cop:"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
Cop:"Awww, dammit. I thought one of us would know. Oh, well. You ran a red light, okay? We'll say you ran a red light. Here's your ticket."

"What's our nation's capital?"

"What do you want to do today?"
"Ooh, let's play Bingo! I haven't done that since I had a heart attack last time I won! That was almost two months ago!"

"Oh, these beaches are beautiful."
"Yeah, will you still think so Tuesday?"
"What happens Tuesday?"
"That's when the hurricane is gonna hit."
"Which hurricane?"

"I got a 340 on the SAT!"
"Wow! That's good! I only got a 420!"
by Perple September 17, 2004
The OTHER Hell, I live in Florida so I know what I'm talking about. Old people everywhere, everbody drives like they never passed driver's ED., It's like a friggin' desert here, despite the humidity which makes it suck even more. Florida is full of preps, people on ritalin, and various Jack-offs.
When Billy died, he went to Florida.
by I HATE Florida October 26, 2003
a place that is full of old people and hot girls. Known for its Beaches and warm summers.
person1: Florida sucks man. nothing there but old people.
person2: that only half of florida. the rest is hot girls.
by Bam June 29, 2003
God's Waiting Room

A south east state in the U.S.

by sadg! February 12, 2006
state filled with rip-off tourist destinations, old geezers, and a fucked-up election
In Florida, old people played bingo
by 0000 October 16, 2003
Bad drivers—particularly retired New Yorkers--who get their drivers license from a Cracker Jack box.

Grumpy, old people--particularly retired New Yorkers--with a bad attitude.

Electile dysfunction where people can’t even poke a small hole thru a ballot card.

People migrating to its shores in inner tubes.

Corporate executives and CEOs golfing.




There’s nothing like Panama City during spring break.

Disney World

Too many tourists that irritate the hell out of those who live there.

The country’s best marijuana and crack.

Stupid people rebuilding there home every year after a major hurricane. (get a clue)

Need I say more??

Florida is a nice state to visit, but God help you if you want to live there. Dollars generated from tourism doesn't bring intelligence. This state needs serious help.
by krock1dk May 24, 2008

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