Florida, the one place where the father north you go, the father south you end up. Always has and always will be filled with old people, fucking tourists and us rednecks. Great place to live if you in enjoy the shitty education, hot, hot and hotter weather, hurricanes,humidity, fatasses in speedo's, sea lice and tourists all year round. But if you can get past all of the shitty stuff, then its not so bad. My current home state and has been for my whole life. some of the good things about living in florida includes:: you can spend the whole day at disney and drive home the same day, i personally only own 2 pairs of shoesthe rest are flip-flops
, were not as stuck up as you think, most of us who do live here live in towns most people who live in north florida have never heard of. It's here where you'll find your rednecks. We live for friday nights when we can get rowdy at the football game,even though we all know our tems not gonna break the 40 game losing streak, but that doesnt stop us. We live for the after partys of any semi-major/major event. Everyone knows all the good back roads to go down so you dont get caught drinking, and when you do get caught, everyone in the whole town includeing your parents
know within 10 mintues. Hardly any of us down here use any other type of phone besides the nextel direct connect. if you use anythnig else, your labeled as a fucking loser. This is where we pray for it to rain during the week to that the mudholes fill up and where if you dont show up at c&n, it better be b/c someone died. this is where everyone has a gun in their truck, not for protection, but in case an alligator trys to eat your dog. Down here in florida everything we eat is all natural, for meat: we got plenty of cows and wild hogs in our back yard. For Drinks:: go out and pick the oranges and lemons growing in your front yard, or whip yup some of that good old swwet tea. we have it all here.
There's a saying my old math teacher used to say, and can be only used for people who live in my town, Lake Placid, or as we refer to it, the L-TO THE-P! the people who live here are very proud of our town,where every weekend we're out on one of the 15 or more lakes in town. lp, which has a pop. of about 1000-2000 people, and home of the caladium captiol of the world bitchess!
the saying the goes for us hicks heer in lp goes something like this,
eat more beef, drink more orange juice and buy more caladiums, its good for the soul!
Florida isnt the sunshine state, its the gunshine state.
The godforsaken Sunshine State renowned for weather and beaches. Florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. Well-known for its subpar education system, Florida is home to Florida State University
, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. The population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired New Yorker, go to any one of Boca Raton's 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a Latino/Hispanic
/person whose first language is Spanish, turn around. Florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more Southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like Cuba (as evidenced by the Little Havana area of Miami
). Still, Florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. All place names here are either of Spanish (Punta Gorda, Boca Ciega) or Native American (Tallahassee, Econolockhatchee River) origin, or contain the word "orange" in them. Florida decor has inexplicably come to mean "a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting." Floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.
-"Florida's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here."
-"Bah! Go back to New York, you snowbird
Florida: The state for the newly-wed and the nearly-dead.
AKA: God's waiting room.
A state with two seasons... Summer and January 14th.
I went to Florida for Christmas break... It felt like I was there for SPRING Break.
The only state in the country where the further north you go, the further south you get. Also a lovely place to retire.
If I retire rich, I will probably live in or around Miami, but if I retire poor, I'll probably retire up North near the panhandle, in a trailor, with my dog Rufus. someone kill me
Homer simpson: We can't go to Florida... thats America's wang! *points at the dick-like state of Florida*
The only state in the U.S. where the number of natural disasters in a year is more than the number of smart politicians.
Hurricanes or morons? People of Florida have to pick their poison, sometimes even both.
The most disposable "rapper" in the history of music.
Hey Bobby, what's a seven letter word for human excrement?