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14.
The saddest excuse for a cookie. Ever.
I thought I had cookies in my lunch, but Mom gave me frickin' fig newtons damnit.
by EmmyGood January 20, 2007
28 49
 
1.
The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.
by BDALE4LIFE September 13, 2005
95 29
 
2.
The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
by Barnaby J. July 15, 2008
102 43
 
3.
as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"
I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.
by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006
74 37
 
4.
the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth
I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons
by misaki December 14, 2005
56 29
 
5.
Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"
by Fundabz June 06, 2013
14 2
 
6.
A term for marijuana.
Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!
by yellowfeather996 November 01, 2009
21 13
 
7.
a word often used to refer to black and mild cigars because they taste somewhat of the fig newton cookie
i wish this fig newton would never end
by extenze September 30, 2010
19 14