the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth
I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons
by misaki December 14, 2005
Top Definition
The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.
by BDALE4LIFE September 13, 2005
The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
by Barnaby J. July 15, 2008
as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"
I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.
by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006
Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"
by Fundabz June 06, 2013
A term for marijuana.
Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!
by yellowfeather996 November 01, 2009
A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.
Dude you're such a Fig Newton!
by CIZE June 06, 2013
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