2. The belief that you are a real Jew because your mother (or father) follows a religion called Judaism or because you were born in Israel.
3. Anyone who follows or believes in the Cabala writings.
4. Anyone who denies Yeshua (Jesus) HaMashiach but claims to follow Torah.
5. Anyone claiming that they have "Jew DNA" (lol)
A: I'm caucasian and I'm a Jew!
B: No you are not!
B: Because according to the bible, the REAL Jews and Israelites do not remember and do not live in the land of Israel today because they were scattered all over the world through slavery.
A: That is not true!
B: If it's not then where are the other 10 tribes and why do the Jewish only claim the tribe of Judah and Levi? The prophecies say that HaMashiach would gather the 12 tribes together and THEN bring them into the land. You people came to Israel by yourselves in 1948, HaMashiach didn't return and bring you there.
Gets presents for both Christmas and Hanukkah
fake jew: yo me too!
dude 1: aren't you jewish?
fake jew: ehh kinda. i get presents for both holidays.
dude 1: dude.......
dude 1: you're a fake jew man....thats just sad.