A cleaner and nicer way to say to say fuck buddy for the terminally polite. So clean you can say it in front of Grandma.
First used by Requiem in Danse Macabre of the Anita Blake Series by Laurell K. Hamilton.
Dude 2: She just my FIB.
It is an unkind term used by Wisconsinites to refer to the residents of Illinois. Common times to use this are:
1. In reference to how Illinoians Drive - very fast and offensive.
2. Their vacationing choices - Wisconsin Dells and Lake Geneva.
3. Bears Fans
2. FIBs are taking over the whole state in the summer!
3. When was the last time those FIBS won, 1985?
1. One who drives in the fast lane, and chooses to do the speed limit
2. Someone who cuts through 2 lanes of traffic without signalling to exit Interstate
3. Chooses to vacation in Wisconsin, where there actually are hills, and a good football team
2. My exit is coming up, I had better get over...hmmm, he forgot 4 fingers when he waved at me, oh well...Well I'll be, this wasn't even my exit, dirp
3. Lets head north to Wisconsin, they have hills, and small cities, that are way more laid back than us here in Chicago...I also heard they know how to play football, and make this thing called the playoffs
2. Annoying individual from Metro Chicago who thinks they're the salt of the earth and everyone who lives in a city of less than 100,000 should bow down and thank them for their presence. These obnoxious folks can be identified by their nasal voices and huge-ass SUVs (usually towing a 100 ft long trailer full of snowmobiles to northern Wisconsin)
3. Dumb individual from Metro Chicago who would pay fortune for something that is actually worth a quarter of what they actually paid.
4. Jerk from Chicago who has the illusion that Northern Wisconsin would not exist without their tourist dollars.
5. Outdoorsman poser who thinks "roughing it" means sleeping in a $30,000 camper.
6. Clown from Metro Chicago who complains endlessly that "It's better in Chicago" after retiring to Northern Wisconsin.
Shop Owner: Heh Heh! I could put a coat of glazing over a pile of dogshit and some FIB would probably pay $100 for it as long as I stamp Made In Cheeseland on it. Hey Fido!! Here's some bean burrito for ya! Good boy!! Eat up- there's more from where that came from!
HA HA - and they think we're stupid!!
FIB: How come there isn't a band playing tonight? In Chicaaaago there is something going on every night. What kind of hick town is this?
BAR OWNER: Well, (mockingly) Go back to Chicaaago or shut the fuck up before I shove this beer glass up your ass.
FIB: Let's go Muriel. These peeeeople are uncultured swines.
FIBETTE: Okay Taylor. I'm getting a little schaaared here. Is the SUV full of ghaaaaaaas?
Used by people in Wisconsin to refer to people from Illinois who buy all of the lake properties in northern Wisconsin and who don't know how to drive while going there.
Wisconsinite 2: Well, it's Memorial Day weekend, what else can you expect?
FIB's tend to have one or more of the following characteristics:
-Drive slow enough to get passed by grandmothers (even though they go 25 over the limit in their own state).
-If they own a sports car, they drive it like an SUV. If they own an SUV, they drive it like a sports car.
-Lives in an overpriced condo on Chicago's lakefront or an overpriced house in the 'burbs (yet still tell's everyone they're from Chicago).
-Buys a vacation home in Lake Geneva, Door County or Upper Michigan and immediately complains about the lack of urban culture in the area. Yet they can't seem to stop vacationing there.
-FIB men usually claim to be "tough chicago guys" yet are too scared to go anywhere but Miller Park, Water Street or Third Ward when visiting Milwaukee for a Brewers-Cubs game.
-FIB men are usually at least 50 lbs. overweight, yet find room to complain about the supposed lack of size 0 women in Wisconsin and Michigan.
-FIB women are usually either 50 lbs. overweight and insist on wearing halter tops and mini-skirts, or have A-cups and wear tops intended for women with an actual chest.
-Claims to be cultured even though 90% of their wardrobe consists of Cubs and Bears sweatshirts and don't know of any restaurants that aren't bar & grill's.
-Think being an "outdoorsman" means sleeping in a $50,000 RV.
-Thinks Wisconsin wouldn't be able to sustain its economy without them, but don't recognize that they're gullible idiots who buy vacation property in parts of the state that Wisconsin natives don't even want.
-Buys a dried up piece of shit because a Wisconsin merchant told them it was used in Native American puberty rituals.