Excalibur can be decoded - ensis caliburnus, by Celtits (haha), meaning 'the calibian sword'
The Sword has an origin from the east part of the world, given to this king. Read the Last Legion by Valerio Massimo Manfredi and go to the Author's Note to find accurate details.
Who're the Britains?
You - I - We all are!
And I am your king.
Well I didn't vote for you.
You don't vote for kings
Oh, well I could be king then.
"Because some gas station attentant performed the Excalibur on me in the women's restroom and became a king. Heavy lies the crown, and heavy lies my rectum, which is dripping out of my anus."
"Hey, Carla, can you pick my sphincter up? It fell on the floor after a hobo did the Excalibur to me last night."