A heroic viking who was on the verge of Godhood. Thor, fearing being usurped, erased his memories and cast him into the 21st century.

Confused and distraught, EBM had a troubled youth, before he found his calling and went to Nam' to kick Commie ass. He single-handedly pushing back the Tet Offensive and became basis for fictional heroes such as Rambo.

Alas, it was not meant to be, the hippies of the US united against him and he was forced to relinquish his gun and vow to never fight again.

For the next few decades the US continued to deteriorate around him. EBM, being a incarnation of justice, could stand this no longer. A worthless mortal, clearly unaware of the might of the EBM, crossed him, and was promptly obliterated by EBM.

EBM spared that mortal's life and walked off the bus, leaving his groceries behind. Why did he even need groceries? Not once in his life did he ever need to eat, nor has he ever felt thirst, pain or the urge to sleep. EBM has tried his entire life to be a normal man, but he was tired of that facade. He was determined to find out what he truly was. That day, he walked off the bus, a God.

EBM was not the only immortal on the scene. Freyja, watched the event unfold through the eyes of Amber Lamps. Outwardly, her expression never changed, projecting an aura of indifference. Inwardly however, she was aflutter with a myriad of thoughts and emotions. She could not discern what it all truly meant, but one thing was for certain; Thor's days were numbered.
The Epic Beard Man will rise again.
by Acsension March 19, 2010
Top Definition
The 67 year old ex marine that beat the crap out of a younger man who didn't know when to shut his mouth as seen on the youtube video AC Transit Bus Fight.

Locations of his bag are still unknown.
Did you see the epic beard man in that video? That'll teach you to respect your elders.
by epicbeardman February 17, 2010
Epic Beard Man is a 67 year old mother fucker who slaps the shit out of tough guys.
Did you see that dead black guy in the street? I think Epic Beard Man killed him.
by the Gnart February 17, 2010
A man. A veteran. A legacy.

In a short.. 3 days, is it? His video was viewed by millions, by the title of "AC Transit Bus Fight. I am a MOTHERFUCKER". He is one the most honorable warriors of his time, falcon punching his opponents, in this case, young Tyrone, who decides to pick on an old man. The moral of the video is not that black people, like Tyrone, are ignorant, it is that you should respect your elders, or they will turn into Epic Beard Man and Show You His Moves. And punch you in the face. For 12 consecutive seconds, and leaving a little mark. Also see AMBER LAMPS if it exists yet.
Senior Balls - "did you see epic beard man that one night?"


Senior Balls - "oh. You suck. Tyrone owns"

by Danago February 19, 2010
Aka Thomas Bruso, a true legend.

EBM (a 67 year old) was on an AC transit bus talking to his friend, when an ignorant thug (who turns out to be murderer) picks a verbal fight with him. EBM moves to the front to stop himself handing out a beating, but thug leaves him no choice by lashing out. EBM beat his ass down, busting his nose in the process.

The video of the incident was posted up on Youtube, and became a fast-growing internet hit shortly afterwards- prompting many news articles.

Random facts about EBM:

-Is a war veteran (Vietnam)
-Wore a t-shirt with 'I am a motherfucker' emblazoned on the back
-Now has a pair of Stacy Adams shoes
Epic Beard Man: "Don't fuck with senior citizens, they're gonna surprise you once in a while"
by umar_i February 20, 2010
A man wearing a fanny pack with an epic beard who defended himself by punching his attacker repeatedly on a city transit bus in the United States.
Did you see that epic beard man on YouTube?
by tribeachpunk February 17, 2010
Possibly THE COOLEST, most EPIC WIN of a man on Earth!

The 67 year old Santa Claus look-a-like who was provoked into beating the shit outta some punk because he implied that EBM was being racist by asking him to spit shine his Stacy Adams shoes. Also the person who quoted the statement

"I am not prejudice. It could be a chinaman too"

When Epic Beard Man was done with that punk, he was bloody and still talking shit, so EBM went on a raging rampage and said "I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!!!"

And also the proud wearer of a shirt entitled


One quick search on YouTube of the words Epic and Beard Man will come up with either results of the fight or the filmer of the fight apologizing with bullshit, politically correct terms.

It is also rumored that the Epic Dude is related to that of Chuck Norris and Mr. T. Such rumors have not been confirmed, though.

If one should have the privilege of meeting, Epic Beard Guy, I just want to warn you beforehand:


John: Hey David, did you meet the Epic Beard Man yet?

David: Yeah, he was on the A C Transit Bus this morning beating the shit outta this punk who refused to spit shine his AWESOME Stacy Adams shoes.

John: I guess no-one warned that punk not to fuck with him, eh?

David: Sho' didn't.
by Suedenym February 20, 2010
67 Year old Vietnam Vet. Who beat up some black person on a bus. He also was tasered at a ballpark for being super badass. EBM is the new world order. He is also AMBER LAMPS. He is our king.
>>Hey did you hear about what happened to that black guy in that bus the other day?
> Yeah. Epic Beard Man owned that d00d.
by GOEBM. February 17, 2010

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