A future English teacher.
Person 1: What major are you doing?
Person 2: I'm an English Major.
Person 1: I didn't know you wanted to be a teacher.
Along with Philosophy
and Int'l Relations, English is arguably the most difficult college major in the Humanities. This is largely due to the fact that being an English major encompasses the study of several other fields, including, but not limited to philosophy, psychology, history, sociology, law, and political science. English majors read and write far more than any other major, and offen suffer from severe caffeine addiction (or worse), insomnia, and manic depression.
Despite what lobotomized Business Major
s believe, English majors (like many humanities majors) seek graduate school enrollment and end up with J.D.s, M.B.A.s, L.L.M.s, or Ph.D.s. Thus, they end up in lucrative careers with sexyass women. But best of all, they actually learn how to think and generally live rewarding lives because of that.
English Major: "Dude, we're seniors! I can't believe how much I've learned over the past three years! How about you?"
Business Major: "Excel and Powerpoint."
English Major: "... and?"
Business Major: "That's it."
English Major: "... 3 years of college and that's all you know?"
Business Major: "Yup. But Ima still be rich."
English Major: "Sooo you essentially just paid over $100,000 for Excel and Powerpoint lessons, but you'll still be rich?"
Business Major: "Hellz yeah d00d."
English Major: *facepalm*
The thinking man's major. The English major excels in things like grammar, literature, critical thinking, writing, public speaking, and educating an ignorant population.
1. English majors usually go on to become brilliant professors, lawyers/judges, writers, or editors.
2. "English degrees are worthless." - soon to be unemployed business major
Someone who will not have a job after they graduate.
Whatever happened to Bobby?
He's homeless now.
Oh that's right, I forgot he's an english major.
1. One who went to college to major in English.
2. One who corrects your pronunciation of anything you say.
1. What are you goin to major in? "English."
2. Kara- It's 'electricity', not 'electwicity', you idiot!
Shawn- Shut up! English Major...
An English Major is a university student or any literate person who engages in close extensive reading. With their "expertise" in literature, they seem to think that they are experts of language and like to critisize other people's usage of the English language.
Can be applied to any one who judges word usage without at least a master's degree in Linguistics.
So the other day I was like totes and this total English Major was like "Totes? I see... A shorter more convenient form of the word: totally. This word is most commonly used by teenage girls.
The most obvious advantage of using this word is the time saved. Data collected at a prestigious university found that every syllable spoken takes approximately 0.14 seconds.
The same prestigious university also found that the average valley girl says the word totally around 190 times a day."
And I was like yeah umm I gotta go do an analysis in the acoustic phonetics lab. And the English Major was all like acoustic phonetta what?
Someone who is well versed in useless information. Classes are usually painstakingly boring, and chanting of "Would you like whipped cream and sprinkles with that?"
"That guy that works at Starbucks is a total English Major."