New neighbors moved in upstairs a month ago. I could hear rapid and
heavy footsteps (footstomps?), loud chatter, and laughter. Each night, between 2am and
4:30am, loud voracious
sex every
day upstairs. They did not know how thin the floor is between me and them, so they did not hold back. One
day, I put my Ninja coffee maker on the "Clean" cycle. Storm clouds roll in halfway through my clean cycle as my upstairs neighbor says "Of fuck" x 20 "Oh yeah" x 20. As I'm pulling
food out of the
fridge, I involuntarily hear her have the most quaking
orgasm I've ever heard--
like Barbarianna's call to Thor from Kung Fury (Kung Fury 2's coming out btw). I may or may not set the
food down and pulled my phone out to recordit.
Two minutes later, while I'm holding my phone with the Voice Recorder app up to the ceiling, my Ninja coffee maker gives me the beep to end all beeps, literally as loud as a smoke detector, telling me how very clean my coffee maker is. If you live in an apartment complex, you've probably heard smoke detectors in other people's apartments. I mouth "Oh shit", and I run to the coffee maker and shut it off. (I probably skipped the "Flush cycle" doing this)
Now, I think they know I'm down here, and we have been eggshelling ever since. The footsteps are infrequent. I don't hear them have
sex anymore. I did hear her giggle quietly while writing this though. That made me feel better, knowing they're still
happy.
