A fumbling, horny fool. Someone who is so desperate to get some ass he makes a fool of himself.
When Tom began talking to Sharah, he acted all Edward penis hands and she never talked to him again.
by Big Booty Brown July 10, 2006
When a girl duct tapes each of her hands to a different man's penis, and cannot untape them until she has made each man ejaculate.
Girl: Patrick and Stanley wanted me to Edward Penishands them last night, but my left hand got tired and I was stuck with Patrick all night.
by dedwyf March 03, 2013